The Results

i truly cannot thank all of you enough who have been worried enough about karissa, the test, the results, my sanity, etc to have written or called. You are all the buoy which is keeping me afloat. Knowing that so many people care, and are praying for her, for us. Its an amazing feeling to feel so loved and cared for!

Well, we finally got her results this afternoon. There was very little evidence of reflux the nurse tells me, but there is a “bladder diverticulum”. Have you ever squeezed a balloon in your fist and had like, part of it pop out between your fingers or your thumb? That’s what a diverticulum is – essentially a little hernia in her bladder which also happens to be filling with….i guess urine, and not emptying. Her doctor is not familiar enough with urology to  say beyond a doubt that this isn’t part of what is causing the UTI’s, so we are being referred to a pediatric urologist. One of the few in the Chicago area. Thank God we live in a metropolis area. If we were still in California I am not sure that little town would even know how to spell urology. (No offense, Paradisians.) It just proves to me how God really does know what He is doing when he uproots you multiple times to move you cross country and back.

Anyways – so we wait.

Go ahead, google bladder diverticulum. i did. Spent all afternoon learning more about it than I can absorb right now. The only treatment for a diverticulum? Surgery.

It will never go away on its own. It will most assuredly continue to cause her to have “incomplete emptying of the bladder”. Does that lead to or seem to be the cause of her recurrent UTI’s? That’s what we don’t know. More of what we DO know from our google searching and other research:

Not stopping the UTI’s will lead to more urinary tract, including kidney, damage.  Not stopping the UTI’s has a high likelihood of affecting her reproductive organs.  Not stopping the UTI’s will mean months? years? a lifetime? of Karissa enduring the pain and embarrassment of incessant UTI’s, possibly never gaining full continence of her bladder.

so we are praying tonite. For her health. That she stays healthy over the next month until we can get in with this overbooked, overworked ped’s urologist. That God will give us a peace about the next step, or a peace with what the urologist decides. Surgery sounds scary. And i want to say – no way, no surgery for my kid. But how can I make that decision? how can I say, no, because surgery scares me to death, I will willingly risk your pain, your health, your future ability to have children, karissa, because i love you. None of this is making much sense to me right now. In my logical brain processing center, I know that I really have no right to worry or stress over this until we talk to the specialist. The mommy bear part of me though NEEDS TO figure this out now. NEEDS TO know what plan A is , what plan B is, and know which way to start preparing karissa. NEEDS TO know, to decide, to gather all the facts and fit them into a nice little package with a bow and THEN move on.

But for right now, she is healthy. She is laughing and smiling and talking a hundred miles a minute to fill the silence left behind by her sissy’s going off to school. I want to put tape over her mouth sometimes. NON STOP TALKING. And yet, i am learning to embrace this new side of Karissa emerging, to love it for what it is, for who She is. i am truly so blessed.

so that’s what i know tonite.

And probably won’t know much more till October 8th, when we have our appointment. I just gotta keep her healthy for one more month. I just have to keep this baby in place for one more month, I think as I am hit with another contraction. Probably stress induced. i am stressing myself out. I need to just CHILL. And if i had a dollar for every time i have heard one of you say that, I would take all those dollars and buy myself a stress ball or something!!!

Really and truly – I will be much better in the morning. i am going to bed early tonite. I will lay this at the feet of our Lord and ask Him to carry it for me for a while. And I will wake up ready to tackle the challenges that tomorrow will bring – my gestational diabetes test (YAY for the sugary orange cola! can you believe I actually CRAVED that stuff last pregnancy??? Blech!), errands, MOPS planning, and some Kidstown finalization. Oh and of course I have to blog a weekend updates catch up. We had a great weekend. I’ll even have some pics to go along with it!

Thanks for checking on us.

t-crest

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