I talked. Again.

And I made a video of it. And while it feels somewhat awkward and random, I’m going to just let my words speak for themselves in this video. It gets a little long and rambly – like that surprises you.  Anyways, I hope it kind of opens up my writing floodgates now.

But mostly, I want you to know that we are all gonna be ok.

 

Thanks for watching.

 

Terra

So it takes this.

This is what it takes to get me writing again.

Watching my baby girl fight with all she has against yet another life-threatening illness. Except right now we don’t know what she’s fighting. All i know is, she is sick. Worse than i’ve seen her in a pretty long time. I’m so grateful we have had this reprieve from this all-too-familiar tale of sepsis. But oh it makes it so much more brutal to watch her body fight through this again.

For a long time i stopped writing because i was so worried or concerned about what other people think of how i portray Kendall’s story, my feelings, my story, our story. There are so many reasons my fingers could not portray the feelings in my head and my heart. But now is the time.

My baby girl is a fighter. I am a fighter. We are all fighters in our own way – but this is our story.

So i will tell it as I feel it is best told.

 

Today, this morning, her story is this:

Her body is fighting well against whatever enemy is invading it, but it is a neck and neck battle right now. She is battling high fevers, vomiting on a pretty regular basis, has bad headaches that come and go, and in general just feels and looks miserable. Her labs show the battle that is being waged internally. She is being given meds to support her body – IV tylenol and ibuprofen alternate in constant rotation with enteral tylenol and ibuprofen – there are only a few minutes at a time that she doesn’t have one of those anti fever meds going in. And still hardly any relief from the high fever. Along with that she is getting two IV antibiotics that run nearly constantly, plus IV steroids, IV zofran, IV benadryl and fluid boluses in an attempt to keep her blood pressures up. All of these are intended to support her body in various ways so that her body can focus on just fighting whatever bug is attacking it.

And here’s your oversimplified science lesson for the day – since it’s been a couple years since i’ve had to try to explain what it is that we are actually fighting.

With any illness that you or I or our kids fight, our bodies will ramp up their defenses to kill the offending organism, whether it’s a virus, a tummy bug, a bad cut on our finger, whatever. Our bone marrow pumps out the white blood cells in order to go attack the enemy, the body furnace turns up higher (a fever) in order to try to kill the organisms with heat since most of them like the nice even temps of our bodies at 98.6 degreed fahrenheit, and our organs all kick into higher functioning in order to clear out the bugs sooner. Our bodies are amazing. They do all these awesome things to fight organisms it knows shouldn’t be in there. And sure, we can get REAl sick and feel REALLY miserable and feel like our bodies arent doing their jobs at all because it’s taking so darn long to get rid of our symptoms! But that’s because in order to do all those things to fight an infection, it needs a lot of support – rest, fluids, vitamins, good food, etc. Anyways – i’m digressing.

The point being – it takes a lot of energy for our bodies to do what they know how to do in order to fight an infection.

And for Kendall, her body doesn’t always have that much energy. So her body is being overtaken by the bad bugs, with no good guy blood cells to go do their job because her body doesn’t recognize “hey! wake up! we are being invaded!!!” Until her organs start having a hard time – kidneys, liver, gut, etc – and then catastrophic shock like symptoms start to hit. Those are the times when are going so do we call 911 or drive like a crazy person to the ER because she’s spiked a temp, is shaking uncontrollably, and getting very sick very fast when a few hours before we were just calmly eating dinner or whatever.

The problem is then that the bad bugs have started to do their damage to the internal processes and indeed even the organs that should be sustaining life and will continue to do so until we mobilize her immune system by adding in the steroids and antibiotics that help kill off the bad bugs. So that’s where the “race” occurs. Will the bad bugs do too much damage before the antibiotics come in and eradicate them? And do we even have the right antibiotics to fight those bad bugs because we don’t always know the enemy until the culture report comes from the lab saying what exact bug it is and what drugs it is susceptible to (we call this “susceptibilities”). 

Anyways – that’s the background of what worries me, why i sit here and watch her monitor numbers because if those numbers indicate trouble, it means we aren’t killing the bad bugs. If her fever is still spiking up, it means her body is ramping up to try to kill more bugs. Sometimes the antibiotics just royally piss off the bugs and they multiply in order to try to avoid being killed off. Then her body tries to make more immune cells and this wears out her other organs because all her energy has to divert to her bone marrow and so then we have to make sure her kidneys are still filtering pee because if they aren’t clearing out the fluids we have to dump into her in order to keep her blood pressures stable then all that fluid goes right to her lungs which is why she ends up not being able to breathe very well and we have to add support like bipap or the ventilator/breathing tube. All of that is a delicate cycle of balance and with Kendall, we don’t get any large red warning flags usually. We have me, who just has “gut feelings” and “momma instinct” that things aren’t right, and then i have to go and be a yappy litle puppy to the doctors in an attempt to get them to understand that we aren’t winning the battle and we need to do something more and we need to do it SOON.

 

and that’s where i’ve been at the past few hours.

Last night was rough. I was very worried she was headed towards intubation because i could tell that her body was not keeping up with the necessary cycle of balance. She was exhausted. Her heart has been beating very hard and very fast for a lot longer than it usually does (due to the fevers and extra fluids), and she was just starting to get worn out. She managed to remain pretty stable throughout the night and for that i am incredibly grateful.

She is looking better on the monitors and even on her labs a little this morning. Which would normally mean hey! yay! we are winning!

And yet, she just isn’t perking up like i would hope. She is still very sick acting.We had some talks on rounds (when the team of doctors and nurses caring for her all sit and discuss the plan for the day and how she was overnight) about what is still going on and what our plan is to try to help her feel better.

For right now, we are boosting her up in steroids to hopefully help her organs stop sucking all her energy and get her all around feeling better.

Her main two doctors and I have a high suspicion that we are possibly fighting yeast in her blood stream – fungemia, or fungal sepsis. She has fought this before, and presented very similarly, which is why our suspicions are high. Now, we could be wrong. And I hope we are. But the last time she had this, we had a similarly acting kendall. Lethargic, sick, but seemingly doing “ok” according to the labs. And then bam out of the blue, the yeast get real pissed off and just overtake her and we are scrambling to add supports to her. So those supports are all in place should she need them, but we hope maybe the steroid boosts will be enough to help her round the proverbial corner we are all waiting on.

Right now, Saturday morning, I feel ok with this wait. Last night I did not. Sometimes we just go based on how i’m feeling and what kendall tells us with her behaviors and in her own words. Right now i’m not getting a whole lot of words from her so it’s heavy on the momma instinct. And my momma instinct tells me we have a good plan in place. That I’m ok to go home tonight to see my other babies who i miss terribly. It is so hard when i have my heart split into two places, two states. I hate leaving Kendall, I hate not seeing my other babies. I need some sleep. I need a shower. I need to stop thinking. I was woken up this morning to go have a high level medical discussion while i was still rubbing sleep out of my eyes. My brain is on overload and it needs a break. my heart is on overload and it needs a break. I need to get other clothes. My darling children packed me three bras, a tank top that says “whiskey is my spirit animal”, a pair of sweatpants, and one long sleeve shirt. It’s made for some interesting outfits. I need to go in to work tomorrow. Hours have been in short supply the past couple weeks as is the nature of retail in January, and i more than ever need the paycheck. so i am torn. I am always torn. I am always feeling like i let someone down, no matter what i’m choosing.

Anyways – that’s where things are at right now.

Stable, but cautious.

 

I cannot thank you all enough for your prayers, for the love via texts and messages, for checking on me. To my friends who sent or brought food to me at the hospital because you know i am not eating or drinking enough, thank you. You are the reason i can sit at her bedside and watch numbers. Your prayers sustain us and i am forever grateful for them.

Keep on Keepin on~

 

T.

Live the Life You Imagined.

When I was young and full of idealistic romantic views about how my life and love would be one day – It never looked anything at all like what my real life is.

I loved this quote from Henry David Thoreau and I always “imagined” my life being about me finding myself deep in the woods on Walden Pond too, and being this amazing writer and living this quaint quiet little life.

Life has a funny way of shaking up what you thought it would be and making it into probably what you need, but never would have asked for.

Today I am torn between my desire to go double fist two Venti Starbucks quad shots and be the most productive person on the planet, and curl back up under the 14744-Live-The-Life-You-ve-Imagined covers for a good cry. I will probably end up doing some combo halfway in the middle.

Last week the beautiful daughter of my best friend passed away and I have walked through the Valley of the Shadow of Death with her over these past days. It is beautiful and heartbreaking and really super hard….yet I wouldn’t have been anywhere else in the world besides right there with her. In the hard moments and in the glorious ones. I have cried so much this past week that I feel dehydrated. And just when i think i’m done crying, something happens to set me back off. I have a whole other blog to write about all of that…

And in the midst of all of that emotional upheaval, I am preparing for Kendall’s surgery tomorrow. It is the one we knew would have to happen when she started having her line issues/infection a couple weeks ago. Rather than sit in the hospital for ten days, they released us to home on IV antibiotics to clear the infection and plan where and how they are going to either fix, replace or give her a whole new line. There are no other spots to put it. In almost 8 years of constant use and abuse no small veins should ever have to endure – hers are scarred over, clotted off, or otherwise just not strong enough to support what is needed of them. I don’t talk about this a lot because, well, it really sucks. I do my best to shield people from the harsh realities of what Kendall actually lives with, endures. Her battle is one of quiet yet fierce strength, and to overdramatize that serves no purpose. But this is where we are at. A world class surgeon scratching his head and unsure what his plan will be once they wheel her into the OR tomorrow. A momma who is scared shitless about the ramifications of this surgery. A little girl who has endured countless surgeries and procedures but THIS time has been able to voice her nervousness, her fears about how it feels to wake up with the tube in her throat, how bad it feels when she gets too much gas anesthesia (yes she uses those words!)

This surgery, more so than any other before, I have to leave in the hands of a God who has never failed us before. And oh how hard this is. It is SO unlike that peaceful little idyllic life I had imagined. I am in turmoil, there is chaos surrounding me in the logistical planning of my job, activities for my babies, not leaving them alone but not knowing what the hospital stay is going to look like, making sure that everyone around me has everything they need because that’s just what I do. I keep everyone happy and moving and doing what they need to do. But this….this feels overwhelming.

I know there’s all these happy little trite things you say to someone in my position. I know all that because I’ve said them myself to others. But oh how my heart hurts right now. These are hard days. They just are. There is no sugarcoating how scared I feel, how I cannot stop crying for reasons I’m not even sure of, I just know the tears fall on their own, how I don’t know how to just “fix” everything and make it all better.  I cannot sugarcoat that and I don’t expect anyone else to do it for me. I will find my peace when I quiet my thoughts and my heart. I know I will. Right now, I just need to get this all out.

And even in this, the journaling of these thoughts and feelings in my space, like I always have in the past – it is helping. I have held my pain in deep inside for so long, but this is where I feel happy…writing my thoughts. I will get back to doing it more regularly.
Today, I will pray over Kendall’s team of doctors that is meeting this morning to talk about our best options for Kendall’s line surgery tomorrow. I will pray that the God who has done miracles before will miraculously open her little veins, will strengthen them, will guide her surgeons steady hands to exactly where they need to be. I will pray for my little girl who feels a nervousness no 7 year old should have to feel. I will figure out how to pay for the stupid American Girl lego’s she is asking for for after surgery and I will put a smile on my face and i will rock her and tell her all of this will be ok. I will be momma bear to that know-it-all anesthesiologist and tell him no you may not use full gas for this procedure even though it’s easier for you. I will tell Kendall I will protect her always and no matter what.

In the words of Marcus Mumford (<3!)

” I will hold on to hope, and I won’t let you choke on the noose around your neck.

I’ll find strength in pain and I will change my ways

I’ll know my name as it’s called again.”

 

I will figure this all out and I will get through it like I always have in the past. Because it’s what we do.

I may not be living the life I had imagined, but I think maybe in a way I am. I always imagined that I would be the heroine of my own story, I would be strong, I would endure under any circumstances. And I think i’m doing that ok.

And now I have to go get that super strong coffee and start doing all the things I have to do.

Peace out party people~

 

T

Hangin’ In There.

*tap tap*

Is this thing on? Is anyone still out there?

I know it’s been a while. And a while more before that.

Someday i’m sure i will be able to write about where i’ve been the past, oh, year I guess. But most days, it’s just really really hard to put this all into words. The stress. The pain. The feeling of being utterly overwhelmed by life most days. But for now, it’s just this. Hangin in and keepin on.

And today, the dam of emotions is threatening to break. I got an email this morning that if I don’t renew my domain and web service in the next seven days, terra talking will cease to exist.And the thought of this is bringing me to tears. No I haven’t written in a while – but every day my heart longs to. Writing is just who i am, how i am. Looking back on my old blogs reminds me that once upon a time i was a good mommy, one who wasn’t stressed about money all the time, didn’t feel at the end of her rope all the time, was capable of handling almost anything life threw her way. The thought of losing all these written journals about my life, Kendall’s journey, the memories…..it literally brings me to tears.

I am currently looking for a job that will allow me to work hours that work with my kids’ schedules, and that will hopefully be flexible and understanding enough with the unknowns of Kendalls random hospitalizations that I won’t have to bounce from job to job.  Being a mommy (and a super skilled nurse to Kendall) is the best job I have ever had but wow, the pay is really really low!   If you know of anything – let me know! But the truth of the matter is – I am beyond broke right now, and even though i hate doing this – I am coming here to ask you for help. So many of you have so graciously given over the past few years and I literally hate being here again right now. I do not in any way expect this help, but i’ve learned if you don’t ask, no one will know. So –I need to come up with $200 for my website fees in the next six days. If you love terra talking even one fourth as much as I do and don’t want it to go away – i’d be honored to have your help.
The easiest way would be to send a couple bucks through paypal if you are able and willing (and believe me, i won’t be upset if you can’t!) I’ll put my link down below.

The way the link works is that you will be directed to the paypal website, you do a quick sign up for a paypal account if you don’t have one (basically it asks for your name and email address), and then you can send money from an existing paypal account or use a debit/credit card.
As soon as I have enough to make the payment, I’ll take the link down.

I just want to thank you in advance if you are able to send even a dollar or two. My heart is humbled to even have to ask for this help. But i am so blessed to be surrounded by such an amazing and supportive tribe, and I hope you know that I couldn’t do this without all of you.

I promise and pledge that if we are able to save Terra Talking,I will write more. Every day and twice on Tuesdays. I will find my funny voice again and I will share it here.
For right now, that’s about all I have to say about that.

Thank you, all of you.

Keep on Keeping On

 

me.

 

You guys are all amazing. Thank you from the very bottom of heart for helping keep my little blog around. There are not enough words to express my gratitude.

Just one last Post

hello-ceo-post-2How about some Cupacake Ipsum?! Check it out at cupcakeipsum.com and create your own delicious Ipsum. Dessert candy tootsie roll jelly-o bear claw chocolate bar apple pie. Chocolate cake tootsie roll lollipop caramels fruitcake powder marzipan. I love cake chocolate cake danish cheesecake chocolate ice cream jujubes caramels. Jelly oat cake jujubes gummies macaroon. Tiramisu chupa chups fruitcake. Soufflé chocolate bar topping caramels cotton candy chocolate bar fruitcake powder pudding. Icing wafer fruitcake apple pie apple pie soufflé gummi bears cake jujubes. Marshmallow sugar plum jelly-o icing chupa chups croissant candy canes gingerbread dessert.

Marshmallow donut pastry sweet roll croissant. Gummi bears lemon drops I love cake toffee caramels tart gingerbread. I love gummies powder cookie tart candy canes lemon drops. Cake I love sesame snaps gingerbread tiramisu dragée. I love chocolate cake muffin croissant wafer sugar plum ice cream chocolate cake soufflé. Caramels chocolate wafer chocolate bar powder.

Tiramisu marshmallow bear claw caramels cupcake sweet. Sesame snaps cheesecake tart cookie donut powder donut gummi bears. Caramels apple pie pie liquorice danish dessert fruitcake chocolate bar toffee. Ice cream I love jelly beans liquorice halvah ice cream. Cake I love macaroon dragée. Cake gummies jelly beans.

I love topping I love lollipop I love tiramisu bear claw halvah jelly beans. Ice cream I love powder dragée gingerbread. Tootsie roll cheesecake fruitcake liquorice topping I love biscuit chupa chups. Icing toffee I love muffin biscuit. Soufflé jelly beans candy croissant chocolate dragée I love pudding. Topping I love jujubes. Candy cheesecake chocolate sesame snaps I love macaroon. I love lollipop cupcake jelly chocolate bar. Toffee jelly croissant toffee.

Pudding lollipop I love jujubes. Marzipan sugar plum jelly-o topping halvah ice cream. I love candy I love sugar plum dragée topping lollipop. Cotton candy tiramisu jelly-o. Cookie cake powder pudding. Macaroon bonbon sweet tart chocolate cake tart. Sugar plum cupcake pie fruitcake brownie. Gummi bears gummi bears powder halvah donut wafer sesame snaps. Toffee carrot cake pie pudding chocolate cake cotton candy. Croissant marzipan wafer sweet gingerbread brownie ice cream I love.

Going on a Trip.

I’m going to do this.

I’m going to pack all four of my babies into the car and we will drive down to where it’s warm and where there is sunshine and there are beaches and the ocean.

I am going to lose my mind, multiple times and in multiple ways, but i am going to do this.

 

I need to get Kendall to the ocean. I don’t know why. And the fact that i am so compelled to do this scares me a little. But I need to do this, to prove to me, to prove to her, to prove to i don’t even know who because we have nothing to prove – that she is capable of this. That her “things” do not define her or limit her.

IMG_1598

I don’t have the money for this and the logistics of it are going to be insane. Packing her up for a trip to the hospital for the day for ivig is hard. Packing her up to go somewhere is exhausting. Packing her up for a trip like this is going to suck the last ounce of energy i have.Packing up the IV pumps, all her IV meds and fluids and tpn and extra tubing, the oxygen concentrator and pulse ox and blood pressure machine and all the other meds and supplies that make up Atkinson General Hospital into the car…i am tired just thinking about it.   But i will do it. I will do it for her and i will do it for all my babies and i will do it for me.

I need to watch her splash in those waves and build sand castles with her sisters and be a regular little kid. Because sometimes your friends’ kids get cancer and sometimes good moms die way too young and sometimes really bad things happen and they sneak up on you and you can’t sit around and wait for some perfect time or perfect life to finally feel happy – you have to go out and MAKE your happiness come, find your happiness.

 

Find it in the laughter coming from the back seat or the way your babies sing along to all your favorite songs in the car because it’s all they’ve ever heard and find it in the simple joys of just being able to sit down at the table together and enjoy a meal. Find happiness in the way it feels to hug and hold your kids tight – no matter what else they’ve done or said that day.

Find happiness.

My happiness is here, and my happiness will be even more when i see all of my girls enjoying the fruits of the hard work it’s going to be to get to the beach.

I have been walking through the dark stretch of highway that your life detours onto when your baby gets sick sick. Like organs failing, life support keeping the barest definition of life pumping through veins, are they gonna make it kind of sick. And it is bringing so many feelings flooding back. I am glad to be able to offer some support – because really how do you support someone through this? You can’t. There are no magic words or magic pills you can give someone who is standing bedside holding their babies lifeless little puffy hand to make it “better”. All you can do is say “you will be ok, she will be ok” – and then pray with every ounce of strength and faith you possess that it’s true. It brings back all those memories my brain has filed away of the hours laying on the cold floor of the ICU family area, my own bile dripping out of my mouth and onto the floor but not caring because every single cell of my body was screaming for her to come back to me, for that damn code alarm to stop blaring, for people to stop yelling orders out of her room to the people waiting outside the room with meds and machines and things to help keep my baby alive. Those feelings well up as this heave of sobs and tears i have to stifle back down because we are not there, that was then and this is now and now, today, I have my baby girl here. Running around this morning packing random stuff into her princess purse to take to school because of course we need to take three easy clip dresses for polly pocket Elsa and yogurt and a special spoon and two hairbands and five broken crayons to that place we are supposed to be sitting and learning!!!
And I look at her and I am amazed at her strength and resilience. And this is how i know what “amazing” really means. This is how i know what life really means, what it’s all about.

IMG_1978

And that’s how i know this trip will all work out somehow. I will get them all to the beach and i will soak up every single little moment of that gloriousness.
And i will hug them all so tight and will tell them all how amazing they are.

That’s about all i have to say about that today. The tears are too close to the surface and i have too much crap to do to sit here crying.
Just – don’t take your life for granted, ok? Find something – no matter how small you have to start with – and focus on how grateful you are for that thing, how happy that one thing can make you. Don’t hold grudges. Tell someone that you love them or that you’re sorry or that you forgive them even if the apology hasn’t come and hug your babies no matter how frustrated you are right now.
This life, it’s so awesome and you never know what direction it’s going to head in.

Pack the car up and crank the music and drive to your happy place.

 

Be happy.

 

20150506_172327597_iOS

 

Peace out party people~

T

Recipe Styling

hello-ceo-post-10

Sweet Sugar Cookies
Recipe Type: Dessert
Author: Hello You Designs
Prep time: 5 mins
Cook time: 10 mins
Total time: 15 mins
Serves: 36
These sweet, simple and chewy sugar cookies will be the new house favorite!
Ingredients
  • 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
  • 1½ cups granulated sugar
  • 1 egg
  • 2¼ cups all-purpose flour
  • ½ teaspoon baking powder
  • ½ teaspoon Kosher salt
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla
  • ¼ cup granulated sugar for rolling cookies
Instructions
  1. Preheat oven to 350º F. Line cookie sheets with parchment paper or a nonstick baking mat.
  2. Cream together butter and granulated sugar until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add egg and mix until well-combined.
  3. Stir in flour, baking powder, salt, and vanilla.
  4. Scoop cookie dough by the tablespoon full and roll into a ball.
  5. Add granulated sugar to a large bowl for rolling cookie dough in before baking. Place each ball of cookie dough into the bowl of granulated sugar and roll to coat well. Place cookie dough onto baking sheet, spacing about 1½-inches to 2 inches apart. Lightly press each cookie down. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes or until lightly browned.
3.5.3208

 

Sweet Features

When looking for words to fill these sample posts the traditional thing to turn to is a Lorem Ipsum. An Ipsum is a filler text used to demonstrate the graphic elements of a document or visual presentation. While searching for something different to fill these pages found that you can find all kinds of Ipsum generators. From Cupcakes, TV Shows, Movies, Samuel Jackson (not G rated), even one for Obama quotes. Here are a few of my favorite that I came across.

DeLorean Ipsum

No, Marty, we’ve already agreed that having information about the future could be extremely dangerous. Even if your intentions are good, they could backfire drastically. Whatever you’ve got to tell me I’ll find out through the natural course of time. I, I don’t know. Radiation suit, of course, cause all of the fall out from the atomic wars. This is truly amazing, a portable television studio. No wonder your president has to be an actor, he’s gotta look good on television. Right. Lou, gimme a milk, chocolate. Lorraine, my density has popped me to you. this has gotta be a dream.

hello-ceo-post-9Hey McFly, what do you think you’re doing. Um, well it’s a delorean, right? Hey wait, wait a minute, who are you? Stella, another one of these damn kids jumped in front of my car. Come on out here, help me take him in the house. Thank god I found you. Listen, can you meet me at Twin Pines Mall tonight at 1:15? I’ve made a major breakthrough, I’ll need your assistance. I’m, I’m sorry, Mr. McFly, I mean, I was just starting on the second coat.

Lorraine. It’s uh, the other end of town, a block past Maple. Hey, hey, Doc, where are you? Where does he come from? whoa, whoa Doc, stuck here, I can’t be stuck here, I got a life in 1985. I got a girl.

Heisenberg Ipsum

Who are you talking to right now? Who is it you think you see? Do you know how much I make a year? I mean, even if I told you, you wouldn’t believe it. Do you know what would happen if I suddenly decided to stop going into work?

A business big enough that it could be listed on the NASDAQ goes belly up. Disappears! It ceases to exist without me. No, you clearly don’t know who you’re talking to, so let me clue you in. I am not in danger, Skyler. I AM the danger! A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? No. I am the one who knocks!

Chuck Ipsum – As in Norris

Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down, Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks, Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris is my Homeboy, The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost. Chuck Norris doesn’t compete in sports. He allows other people to have a chance at breaking records too.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain. Chuck Norris isn’t made up of cells, cells are made up of Chuck Norris Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia, The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris’ victims before they died? His shoe Chuck Norris is my Homeboy. If Chuck Norris were to ever run out of ammo, his weapon would continue to fire out of fear of disappointing Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken’s famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

Built in Gorgeous

hello-ceo-post-6Does anyone remember Futurama? It was easily one of my favorite shows as a kid. How about some Futurama Ipsum for your enjoyment! Get yours at fillerama.io

Yes, except the Dave Matthews Band doesn’t rock. Hey, tell me something. You’ve got all this money. How come you always dress like you’re doing your laundry? Oh yeah, good luck with that. Can we have Bender Burgers again?

Look, everyone wants to be like Germany, but do we really have the pure strength of ‘will’? THE BIG BRAIN AM WINNING AGAIN! I AM THE GREETEST! NOW I AM LEAVING EARTH, FOR NO RAISEN! Hey, guess what you’re accessories to.

Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun? Is that a cooking show? What are you hacking off? Is it my torso?! ‘It is!’ My precious torso! Oh, I don’t have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain.

Can we have Bender Burgers again? You’re going to do his laundry? Shut up and get to the point! My fellow Earthicans, as I have explained in my book ‘Earth in the Balance”, and the much more popular ”Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth’, we need to defend our planet against pollution. Also dark wizards.

Goodbye, friends. I never thought I’d die like this. But I always really hoped. No, I’m Santa Claus! Well, thanks to the Internet, I’m now bored with sex. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust for violence?

Ven ve voke up, ve had zese wodies. Moving along… These old Doomsday Devices are dangerously unstable. I’ll rest easier not knowing where they are. And from now on you’re all named Bender Jr.

Stop! Don’t shoot fire stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression! Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord with the voters when he pledged not to go on a killing spree. You wouldn’t. Ask anyway!

The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep. Actually, that’s still true. I just told you! You’ve killed me! For one beautiful night I knew what it was like to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored.

You’ll have all the Slurm you can drink when you’re partying with Slurms McKenzie! No! The cat shelter’s on to me. I don’t want to be rescued. When I was first asked to make a film about my nephew, Hubert Farnsworth, I thought “Why should I?” Then later, Leela made the film. But if I did make it, you can bet there would have been more topless women on motorcycles. Roll film!

Boutique Styling

hello-ceo-post-4How about some Cupacake Ipsum?! Check it out at cupcakeipsum.com and create your own delicious Ipsum. Dessert candy tootsie roll jelly-o bear claw chocolate bar apple pie. Chocolate cake tootsie roll lollipop caramels fruitcake powder marzipan. I love cake chocolate cake danish cheesecake chocolate ice cream jujubes caramels. Jelly oat cake jujubes gummies macaroon. Tiramisu chupa chups fruitcake. Soufflé chocolate bar topping caramels cotton candy chocolate bar fruitcake powder pudding. Icing wafer fruitcake apple pie apple pie soufflé gummi bears cake jujubes. Marshmallow sugar plum jelly-o icing chupa chups croissant candy canes gingerbread dessert.

Marshmallow donut pastry sweet roll croissant. Gummi bears lemon drops I love cake toffee caramels tart gingerbread. I love gummies powder cookie tart candy canes lemon drops. Cake I love sesame snaps gingerbread tiramisu dragée. I love chocolate cake muffin croissant wafer sugar plum ice cream chocolate cake soufflé. Caramels chocolate wafer chocolate bar powder.

Tiramisu marshmallow bear claw caramels cupcake sweet. Sesame snaps cheesecake tart cookie donut powder donut gummi bears. Caramels apple pie pie liquorice danish dessert fruitcake chocolate bar toffee. Ice cream I love jelly beans liquorice halvah ice cream. Cake I love macaroon dragée. Cake gummies jelly beans.

I love topping I love lollipop I love tiramisu bear claw halvah jelly beans. Ice cream I love powder dragée gingerbread. Tootsie roll cheesecake fruitcake liquorice topping I love biscuit chupa chups. Icing toffee I love muffin biscuit. Soufflé jelly beans candy croissant chocolate dragée I love pudding. Topping I love jujubes. Candy cheesecake chocolate sesame snaps I love macaroon. I love lollipop cupcake jelly chocolate bar. Toffee jelly croissant toffee.

Pudding lollipop I love jujubes. Marzipan sugar plum jelly-o topping halvah ice cream. I love candy I love sugar plum dragée topping lollipop. Cotton candy tiramisu jelly-o. Cookie cake powder pudding. Macaroon bonbon sweet tart chocolate cake tart. Sugar plum cupcake pie fruitcake brownie. Gummi bears gummi bears powder halvah donut wafer sesame snaps. Toffee carrot cake pie pudding chocolate cake cotton candy. Croissant marzipan wafer sweet gingerbread brownie ice cream I love.

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