37 Weeks

And feeling every minute of it!

Oh the pain! Just walking hurts. So much pressure. And then when the contractions start getting real insistent – yeah, its hard to walk while your whole mid-section is in one long cramp. Ok i should stop complaining. Today is actually a pretty good day feelingwise, woke up with some gay contractions, but was able to get some “oh yeah the baby’s coming I should get some things for her” shopping done! If only I had a good way of doing screenshots…

Ok this might work!! So those are some bodysuits I got, and these gowns – which are LIFESAVERS the first few weeks when you get those nasty blowouts every hour or so…So easy to just flip up, change, and back to bed with them!

It was fun to actually start getting some new girly stuff for baby Kaylen. Hmmmm what else did we get – a pack of diapers and wipes (can you believe I had NONE in this house??? i mean my GOSH what would I have done if she was born early? Steal double my allotment from the hospital??? which i will still prolly do cause I roll like that but….wow. Procrastination is definitely my middle name!) We took a gamble on some paci’s. My kids are SO hit or miss with whether they’ll even take one or not, and then the kind/brand/shape???Fuggedaboudit. So – i got some that look cute. Cause what else is there in life with a newborn than just to look cute?

Then it was on to Walmart – since i just couldn’t bring myself to drop $200 on the ladybug bedding i have been debating for the last two months….so I got these blankets cause they only had the full set in blue. But these match the full set, which I will be getting as soon as I find it in stock somewhere! and here is what the whole set looks like  It looks almost black in this pic, but in real life, its actually more brown. The blankets are more muted than they appear in this pic too. The pink isn’t QUITE that obnoxious. I think we will paint the room a khaki color, with big pink circles on one wall. It feels better to just have that SET! I feel like so much about this poor baby is just an afterthought – just cause – my two girls take up EVERY waking second of my day – espcially being a single parent all week due to Ben’s new job! But she isn’t an afterthought. I cannot WAIT to meet this little girl who loves to kick and flip and swim!

So – we have a midwife appointment this afternoon where I think I might ask to be checked to see if I am making progress. They offered to last time but i just wasn’t in a hooha feel up mood. Not that I am today – but today I kind of want to know. Next week is the only week Ben is home – so i am KIND OF hoping kaylen can get with the overall Atkinson family program and come on OUR schedule!!! I have a good couple hours of contractions just about every day, obviously they are prodromal or else I would have been in the hospital a few weeks ago! So they do nothing more than wear me out and make me sore, but every once in a while i’ll have a couple hours of some doozies. I would be surprised if they aren’t doing ANYTHING, but I also won’t be in mass depression if there is no change. so i dunno. I guess we will just see how the appt goes!

It could not be any hotter outside. Which is contributing to the overall feelings of misery I am having today. Its about 95, but the mugginess is making it feel seriously well into the 100’s. It looks like a good storm is brewin up now though so hopefully that will cool things off.

We also got Karissa her new big girl car seat, which Kealey is EXTREMELY jealous over, cause its “cuter” than hers. (Apparently I hit the whole cute thing a little too hard with her in her younger years…) Here’s Karissa’s – its called the Tara Fashion – i mean, really, could there be a perfecter name???? If only they had spelled it right!

ok tha’ts not the EXACT one – but you get the point. It has cutesy colors. Flowers and whatnot. here is kealey’s -Â Ok sorry – that came out big. So – hence the issues. Kealey’s is plain. and old. and brown.

 sometimes girls are more trouble than they’re worth!!! the DRAMA of it all! But really – I was very proud of Kealey today. she had her five year old/ School wellness checkup. She had to get two shots and her finger pricked for cholesterol and iron – which are at fine levels. I didn’t realize we needed to worry about a five year olds cholesterol level? but apparently we do. And hers was fine. She didn’t cry and in fact I even had her laughing through one of the shots. Which is a HUGE change from the meltdown scene I anticipated the event to be as it normally is with her!

So – we are getting ready to go to the midwife appointment, then we’ll go to sisters house for an hour or two and maybe some good Jimmy John’s sandwiches…then home for bedtime! i am worn out! I have a lot of work I need to catch up on for the PRC (Pregnancy Resource Center) where I work part time, but I guess I will just have to make it up tomorrow – or maybe I’ll get a second wind of energy tonite!

If you made it through this post – congrats!

every time you see me

my hammer’s just so hyped.

I’m dope on the floor and i’m magic on the mic.

I have no idea why – but this song has been stuck in my head for the last like three days and its completely annoying.

So – you may wanna run to the bathroom, refill the coffee, do whatever you need to do cause this is going to be a long rambly post with little to no point, but probably a good amount of whining/complaining and reflecting on my part…which makes for a very verbose terra.

So – Father’s Day. What did you all do? We went to church, after i woke up to my WONDERFUL husband moving all the garage sale stuff up from the basement for me so that my mother and I would not be figuring out how the two of us would get these couches up the stairs on a hot thursday nite by ourselves…Church was good. I am truly in love with our church. It is so great to be in a place where you are challenged to grow on a spiritual level in a way that you aren’t having to totally STRIVE to apply to your life. The people there are just REAL. The pastor is REAL. The worship is REAL. And I love it all. I cannot wait to get more involved there and really dig deeper into my spiritual journey there. What am I doing to give back, that sort of thing. Anyways – after church Ben surprised all of us by taking us out to a nice meal at Red Robin. It was neat. With as tight as money has been lately, we haven’t been able to just eat out on a whim like we used to. Which is probably good health wise, but it puts a lot more pressure on me to be making a good meal every nite, which is not so fun and easy when you’re “out to here” pregnant and its 90-plus degrees every day and you have two picky kids who complain about every meal you make. All that whining to say – a good greasy mushroom burger from Red Robin was a great and very appreciated treat yesterday! Phew! When we got home, Ben started packing for this weeks trip to PGH (fedex headquarters) for training for his new job – the girls swam while I sat outside melting with them, spraying the dogs with my water cooler/mister thing. When it was time for him to leave for the airport, they came in and took a nap, which was just a nice break. I wish I could say i was able to scrap during that time, but I feel so distracted I can’t sit and concentrate on being creative. I think I am nesting. Anyways – I did get one of the three kitchen junk drawers cleaned out, which was a good accomplishment, and hope to get to my three remaining “junk spots” in the house this week. I cried when Ben left. I know that compared to so many wives, especially some of my friends who are military wives, that we really don’t have it that bad. But i just = we got to see him for a little less than 48 hours this weekend. I just do’nt feel strong enough this week. I am so worn down with pain and tiredness, I feel like I am always saying no to the girls (“no we can’t go to the park, no i don’t have money for the ice cream man, no you can’t go swimming at 7 am when you wake up….”). I just feel like, in general, a failure in most every part of life. I can’t explain why. Maybe just a touch of antepartum depression? But that’s not even it either. I do’nt know. i am sure it is hormonal in one way or another. But I just – i really really am going to miss him this week. Its like – I know I have to be strong for these 6 days. I know I can’t go into labor, cause he’s not here. I have to hold it together for a set amount of time and I just felt already depleted yesterday. Plus I am realizing how much I really do need him and rely on him for my strength each day. He is my rock, my best friend. And i don’t say that lightly. It has been a TOUGH year of learning and growing for both of us, but the results and fruits of that are really starting to show, and I just want more.

So after he left, we went grocery shopping. It was 95 degrees at 7 o clock pm last nite on our way to the store. Now for some of you in southern regions – that may be like – yeah, duh. But here, in the good ol’ chicagoland area – that is UNHEARD of – its still SPRING technically!!! We haven’t had a rainstorm in over a week – the pressure building is just craziness – my sinuses i thought were going to explode out of my head yesterday! They say tonite we’re supposed to get some good storms though – I certainly hope so. I am no lawn maintenance person like my husband. I have no idea how to set up the sprinklers with the right angles and water pressure to get the most out of our ever-growing water bill. I can remember to water my few porch plants and that’s about it!

So today we are going to go up to my parent’s house – just to break up the monotony of our weeks alone, a change of pace. We have to bring the puppies with us – which should be a fun adventure! They were wicked little monkeys last nite and would NOT come back inside at 11 when i tried to get them in to go to their crates for the nite!!! The picture of 9 month prego me trying to catch these slippery little puppies was, i am sure, quite hilarious – good thing it was dark. I just hope no one was in their backyards enjoying a nice bud lite, watching the show though!

I can’t remember right now what all else I had to complain about – so – i’ll stop here.

Let’s see if we can get a few photo’s to insert themselves here…just snapshots of our weekend.

ok nevermind -i forgot to convert these latest ones to websized! Will be back more with more pics though!

have a happy monday!

and remembber – you can’t touch this….

Time Goes By…{so slowly}

Ok there’s two reasons why this title applies. one because my brother and sister-in-law made a HILARIOUS video to this song that still makes me laugh out loud when i think about it. I HAVE to find the youtube link and share it here cause seriously – if you do’nt laugh or at least snicker at this video you should check for your own pulse…

 and two because I feel like i am going to be pregnant at least until the next century. I know I have 5 more weeks left – but that sounds like saying 5 more months. I am just ready to have my body back – to not be in so much pain anymore, to not be so swollen, to not have cankles, to be able to go longer than one hour in between potty breaks….*sigh* – its the little things in life right???

And yet – I know I will need every spare minute of these five weeks. I have so much to do to get ready. So much to be thankful for, so much to not take for granted about this life growing inside me. so this last five weeks is dedicated to all my friends who are currently not pregnant, but wish they were. I will finish this race for them.

And know that it will all be worth it in the end – oh so worth it!

Newsworthy News for today: Had a phone interview with a SEct. 42 development company that I thought went pretty well and am extremely excited about. Have a conference call phone interview early next week and then hopefully a plan of action soon thereafter!

the Pregnancy Resource Center job is going well also. I enjoy the challenge of being the new set of eyes in both centers, and trying to be the bridge to the gap that they are dealing with.

And finally = STILL waiting on word from my old job as to when/what they are going to pay me for the contract currently in place. I pray it is soon that I hear something. It is a lesson in learning to let God show me how much in control He is. it is very hard to sit back and bite my tongue when i feel like i am really just being taken horrible advantage of. But i need to learn this patience. I need to learn to sit back and enjoy life and take it one day at a time and spend more time tickling my girls and watching them swim in their pool, and less time trying to prove to some nameless “they” that i am capable of being both a mom and a career woman.

I want so much all at once. and i need to learn to sit back and be CONTENT with all that i do have.

I am tired so i am rambling. I will write more later. i feel somedays like i have so much to say – and no idea how to say it. And other days i am just out of words.

Why Mr. Anderson, Why? WHY????

Ten Bonus Points to the first commenter who knows the ANSWER to that question. Five bonus points if you at least know what movie its from. I am not sure what we are keeping track of bonus points for, but feel free to play along – you never when a prize might materialize!

I think my body has given up on trying to function properly. Between the bouts of contractions, the sinus infection, the bronchitis and now the asthma flare-up, I am pretty much just a walking overdose of drugs. If they had to do a toxicology report on me right now, they would be so flippin confused they would wonder if they had accidentally mixed my results up with their pharmacy ordering report I am sure. I HATE meds. I hate doctors. i hate doctors who give you meds. and I hate when your body can’t just function so it doesn’t need meds. I am sure I am trying to be taught a lesson somewhere in here, something about patience, and trusting God, and learning to take each day as it comes – but right now i am too sinusy to even attempt to coherently put it all together.

So now i’m on the dreaded steroids. I had to be on them for a LONG time when i was 12 due to an allergic reaction to poison ivy. That’s right, it’s not enough to just get the NORMAL poison ivy reaction everyone else does, I got ALLERGIC to the poison ivy. Every square inch of my body was swelled, including my airways. It is probably what started my downward spiral of asthma/allergy problems come to think of it – but – anyways – prednisone + terra = a mental picture not unlike Veruca Salt of Willy Wonka movie fame, where she blows up into a blueberry and turns violet, violet. I am already halfway there anyways with the baby belly, now the rest of me gets to puff up as well! This after being told I am already retaining a lot of water at my last midwife appointment. Now add in not being able to breathe, see in bright lights, get rid of the sinus pain and pressure, and a baby who is tryng to kick her way out through your navel, and you can see why just a massive OD on sleeping meds for the next four or five days would be a welcome relief at this point.

Ok i need to stop complaining. But I feela little better for getting it out of my system.

Today is Memorial Day.

I would like to go see Pirates today if we can find childcare for the girls.

I would like to plant flowers, oh wait i need to go BUY flowers first, for the front yard/porch.

I would love to get 5 scrap pages done. (yeah right!)

Thank God Ben is home today and tomorrow. It takes a lot of the pressure off of having to be good mommy with activities for kids while feeling so craptapular.

My brother and his wife and kids come into town this week – that will be fun to see them again! then the day after they leave, my other brother and sister in law return from France and are visiting for a few days! Family reunions in this family are always a guaranteed crazy good time! hopefully Baby Aidan has arrived before all the craziness so he can be part of it all!

I should really start thinking about doing get ready for Baby Kaylen type activities here soon….I don’t even know what I still do and don’t have left over from the girls!!! I think 7 weeks is plenty of time to get that all going though, right?

Ok i am off to do research on buying my own nebulizer machine so i can stop this ridiculous non-breathing cycle.

If you made it this far through this crazy post of complaints – thanks!

Don’t forget to add in your bonus points!!

terra

You Are Beautiful

fudg-o-matic. enough already with the friggin contractions. i have no idea what they are, and i have given up trying to figure it out. I am not too worried about anything happening – it would take a force of God for my water to spontaneously break (or so i have been told by my midwife!) – but still – its so annoying/painful/recockulous that they just keep coming this way. So hopefully i get a midwife appt scheduled soon and they can give me SOMETHING helpful besides just – “lay on your left side and drink lots of water”. Like a pill or something. I am all about taking pills. Pills make me feel happy. they make allllllll your annoying aches and pains go away if you take enough of them in the right combinations!

So we have another busy week!

Preschool Graduation is Thursday nite, Ben’s brother is in town, Preschool Picnic on Friday after midwife appointment, Softball Game for Ben, rearranging all our furniture to redo our downstairs with our newly acquired furniture from the In-Laws, cleaning out the baby nursery so i can see what clothes I have and what I need…. oh its giving me a contraction just to THINK about it all!!! But – it will all look SO GOOD when its done, so that’s motivational.

We had Karissa’s transition playgroup evaluation yesterday to see if the school district will pick up her therapy after she turns three and “graduates” from the state program. She definitely showed her true non-intelligible colors! NOBODY could understand her, not even me a few times! So we get referred to go back for more speech evaluations. And more hearing tests. More appointments that will take us all over the northern IL state area, the driving, the time, the schedule rearranging…..BUT – in the end it will all be worth it.

In other news – I got the job at the pregnancy center as their admin/bookkeeping help! That will be a very nice steady form of income, its extremely flexible and very part time – but every bit helps! Plus it is just nice to be validated in that way. i have missed having a job these past few months and am anxious to feel like a contributing member of society again!

So – i might go “reward” myself with some new tarts from Yankee Candle, maybe some new bath and body works spray….something little just cause its been such a TIGHT few months with no moola coming in! Then again – there’s nothing like a good $10 spree at the Dollar Store. you can get SO MUCH for tha $10!!!!

I have laundry up the yin yang to do, floors, kitchen, organizing and getting ready to rearrange the rooms, getting garage sale stuff organized…

 i need to make a cutesy list.

i need to get off my butt and just GO somewhere already!

If you haven’t already – go check out the Gina Miller Team blog – its my week to do the challenge!!! Come play along!

Here is how my page turned out for that:gmd-challenge-relationships.jpg

This photo editor on wordpress is being wonky lately.

and i got most of my sister’s maternity photo’s loaded up to a picasa website – Go check them out!!

Ok I think that’s enough rambling for today…

if you made it this far – leave a comment!

Hope you all have a wonderful day!

Can’t wait to see all you family and friends soon over the next couple of weeks! Let’s take Lots and Lots of Pictures!

terra

Glamorous

ainsworthstudio.com » Blog Archive » How awesome is this t-shirt?

 Seriously – if you were a child of the ’80’s you MUST check out the Tshirt linked on my bro’s blog. I was ROLLING with laughter. This spawned an entire IM conversation of JUST Karate Kid quotes that went on for a while and ended with me snissing. Wow – good times, good times.

I am hoping I have the picture thing figured out on here cause I took some pretty cute pics of my VERY pregnant sissy that I wanted to share…so here goes.

ok i swear to you these are sized for web….apparently its a large web!

babyshoescolor.jpg

dsc_0033a.jpg

 dsc_0023a.jpg

the rest will be just links to view them – which hopefully works. otherwise i will be getting snarky comments from my know it all little brother about how to fix my web res.

today is friday – we have a lot to do this afternoon, but its been a kinda slow boring morning. I got about four hours of sleep last nite and i am DEAD tired. I am thirsty for some indefinable substance – wishing i could figure it out cause i really realy want to drink a lot of whatever it is. And no, its not water. trust me, that would make me puke right now. Oddly enough its not even coke…i am thinking its sweet tea but i hate having to prepare that myself. WHY can’t we just live by a Sonic?!?!?!!? for the love of pete…

oh yuck. the family size tube O cookie dough i bought yesterday tastes HORRIFIC raw. that’s the whole reason i buy it. to eat it raw. CRAPTAPULAR. guess i am now going to have to actually bake cookies with it and hope THEY do’nt taste like caca.

I can’t remember when my last midwife appointment was. I should probably look into making another one here right quick. Not like they do much at these in between appointments anyways. You get two minutes to have cold jelly slathered all over you, hear the heartbeat for like three seconds, ask any annoying questions you may have, and then you’re done. Can you tell i just LOVE dr/midwife appointments? SUCH a good use of my time and energy.

Two baby funnies real quick before i wrap this post up:

Kealey, watching an SUV commercial the other day – ” MOM!!!! Come quick! look at this car that goes through MUD ANNNNND WATER!!!! It’s a real car!!!”

apparently our Yukon Denali is NOT capable of those things. And woudl be the be all end all of excitement if it were. Hmph. Guess I’ll have to show her that i DO NOT drive a soccermommobile. mud and water….

who woulda thought?

Karissa – asking me to help her flip the straw up on her cup – “Mommy you open peeze.” No sis, you can do it, you just push this little thing like this! (the straw pops up) ” OHHHH!!!! Good job mommy!!!!” – like i had just figured out the key to world peace….

 the things that amaze kids are always cracking me up.

I love those two munchkins. Even if they do drive me batty most days.

Mother’s Day. This is my FIFTH one as a mom. Wow that blows my mind!!! i still feel like i am adjusting to the fact that now the cards are for ME, the lunch plans are for ME, its MY day. I still miss my mommy on this day, sure, which is why we begged her to come down for lunch, but its just- an adjustment. That now i am as much the mommy on mother’s day as she is. Such a huge role to fill. I wonder sometimes if I do a good job of it. I am sure I fall extremely short most of the time. But i have two beautiful little girls who will always forgive me, even if i do mess it up occasionally. I am so thankful to God for this chance to be called mommy. and to have such a great husband who makes sure that this day IS celebrated by all of us.

I woke up to my most favorite breakfast – well, of this pregnancy at least. A Large McDonald’s Coke and a Cinnamon Melt. roses on the table and a special plant of unknown origin in a beautiful painted pot from Kealey. And the only thing I really wanted – a card from my husband with real words written in it. It was perfect.

Now we are just relaxing before heading to our lunch with the family. I am excited for my sister- she will be a mommy soon. I bet sometime within the next three weeks we welcome Baby Aiden into the family. The firstborn Grandson on this side – oh what a little prince he will be!

Wow i am rambling today. Disjointed thoughts. I am excited to try this new restaurant – Domo 77. Its supposed to be like Sakura, THE BEST JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE outside of japan. Hopefully it lives up to my expectations. They are pretty high during pregnancy i must say. Had a plate of sushi last nite that SEEMED like a good idea at the time, ended up coming out rather quickly – NOT such a great idea in reality I guess.

The puppies are doing well. They started “training” with Ben last nite. Wallace thus far is doing pretty good, Quincy is typically female and just wants to continue doing things her own way. I am hopeful that by the end of the summer they are well on their way to being trained fully!

I am too ADD at the moment to sit and concentrate. I need serious help setting back up my preferences and my friends’ blog lists blah blah blah. gotta pretty this thing up a little bit.

Have a TON i want to do – now to just find the time and discipline to stick to that list.

http://terratalking.com/5/

Take Two

So here we are – a blank slate. I’d like to start off my brand new post with an ode to a great family show from the 90’s.

 ‘Show me that smile again – don’t waste another minute on your crying!

We’re nowhere near the end…beautifulgirls.jpg

the best is ready to begin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 As long as we got each other – we got the world spinnin’ right in our hands

baby rain or shine.

ALL the time!

We got each other,

sharin’ the laughter and love………”

{cut to alan thicke hamming it up for the camera by himself}

Ok just had to get that out of my system.

The old blog is archived. For long and varied reasons I don’t need to rehash here – its just a fresh start!

Random thoughts today:

*boomerang channel plays WAYYYYYY too many “andre3000” songs in between old cartoons. They annoy me.

*the girls are totally currently into “sonic sunrises”. This is a concoction i became addicted to in Florida when we would go to Sonic every day. If you are lucky enough to actually LIVE by a sonic- i hope to the good lord above that you GO THERE EVERY DAY and take advantage of that greatness! I would KILL for a huge breakfast burrito right now, with a sonic sunrise. Anyhoo i digress. The sonic sunrise is now available (to a much lesser quality) to all of us who have a Dominick’s nearby, as they have begun selling Minute Maid “Cherry Limeade”. Simply mix half a glass of OJ (with your preferred pulp level) with half a glass of cherry limeade and voila – Sonic Sunrise. Sheer happiness. It makes your tongue do dances. I have no idea what the sugar content of this drink is, but i am guessing its somewhere near diabetic shock level based on the fact that my children literally cling to the walls after drinking this. Oh well. Sometimes you just gotta enjoy life a little right?

*The newsletter this month is going to be HUGE! I am so excited for this fun supersized issue! We are having technical difficulties right now, but hopefully the rough draft is done SOON and we can get it out on time!!! But – it IS going to be fun. I will try to link here when its done this time!

Ok i am going to wrap this one up. Gotta get dinner cookin. I mean ordered. called in to the garden where they grow olives.

Have a beautiful day!

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