My life…

is both crazy and bland. I feel like i am channeling britney spears. Ok i am not going to go all batfecal crazy and shave my head or anything, but I feel like I know a little bit of where she was coming from. Every day kind of blends into the next – I pick up kaylen’s 583 messes, change lots of diapers, feed lots and lots of babies a lot of times throughout the day, and then i lay in bed in the dark and pretend to get 3 hours of sleep and then i wake up and do it all over again.

Ok its not always only 3 hours of sleep – ben gets the baby for her first feeding of the nite – but some mornings it FEELS like it was only about 3 hours. Kendall is so fussy all nite long. I can’t figure out if its just gas (which we are already on our third bottle of mylicon drops since we brought her home), if she is just really mixed up on days and nites, or if she maybe doesn’t have some reflux issues a la kaylen. So ben and i will just keep trying different things, hoping one or two of them work long enough for us to get a full straight hour of sleep, and hopefully at her next doctor appointment we’ll be able to get some answers. OR maybe everything will just click in her little system and she’ll stop fussing all nite. It’s not like she isn’t SLEEPING – she is just so fussy in doing so. Not full out screaming all nite crying – just lots of little painful outbursts, most of them seemingly IN her sleep. Maybe she is having nightmares of her time in NICU getting poked and prodded and having that thing on her head – I don’t know.

She is, overall, doing GREAT. We get asked that a lot – and truthfully, all things considered, she is doing really well. I am sure that this nighttime issue is just part of her normal newbornness and not connected in any way to her early struggles. She has no issues breathing, eats fine, even has taken to breastfeeding finally. And during the day she is SUCH a great baby – so quiet, loves being held and just looking around. So it makes it that much harder to know something is causing her to be in so much pain at night. Trust me i have gone through EVERYTHING I have ever known or done as a mom to the other three and nothing seems to be working or clicking for her, but I will definitely take any and all advice or thoughts at this point!

So on to happier stuff – is anyone else in shock that Christmas is in TWO WEEKS?!?!?! I have about half of my shopping done.  Shopping for Ben is always hard because he is just so….particular about his likes and dislikes. And he has expensive taste. he wants like, a new Cadillac for christmas whereas i am giddy with joy over a new tube of lipgloss. Clearly the new Caddy is not in ye olde budget this year. he may just end up with some lipgloss since I get NO direction or help or hints from him.

It seems like I have both a busy and a quiet week – see what i mean about the ups and downs of my life? I have a lot to do, but feel no real pressure to do any of it. I think the tiredness is getting to me. But I think this is also the week it peaks in most newborns – after week 4 they kind of start to “organize” themselves better, in the wise words of Dr. Sears. Maybe momma just needs a new pair of shoes. Or a good nap. Probably a little of both.

*sigh*

ok – back to battle I go – Tropical Storm Kaylen has descended upon the TV room and it is NOT pretty…

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Comments

  1. I do believe I gave you more insight this year than any other when it coes to Christmas “possibilities” for me. But, if all else fails and you do not know what to get…the caddy will do just fine.

    Love ya

  2. no wise words, here. just…. it won’t last forever, and I KNOW that makes you want to throw a shoe at me. 😉