Another turning point.

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.

Time grabs you by the wrist – directs you where to go

So make the best of this test and don’t ask “why”

It’s not a question but a lesson learned in time

It’s something unpredictable that in the end is right

i hope you had the time of your life.         —-Green Day, Good Riddance

 

I love that song. Not just because I’m a huge Green Day fan. But because the punk anthem speaks truth – asking “why” is not always a question to be answered but a lesson you can only learn as time passes and you look back over your shoulder.

As our long weeks of this stay seem to be nearing their end, I am finally having a few moments to sit and reflect over all we’ve been through this past month. I haven’t come to any amazing earth-shattering conclusions, so i’ll keep my muddled thoughts on the “why” of all of this to myself til i’ve had more time to process through them. But it has put me in a reflective mood. I received an email this morning from a dad in our local UMDF (mito support) group. His daughter Rachel passed away two floors below where we sit on Sunday night. His email was in response to me letting him know that I was here to offer help in any way I could. Kendall’s crisis was “ending” as Rachel’s was picking up speed. His words were those of peace…I can’t finish that thought. mostly because i don’t know where it finishes. He was at peace with the fight his daughter has fought and knows she is healed and whole in Heaven today. It is adding to my reflective and pensive mood. Please keep the Kedrow family in your prayers.

Tomorrow morning Kendall will be an “add-on”. More like a “squeeze-in”. She doesn’t have a scheduled surgery spot but they feel that they will have time for her between two other procedures. I didn’t talk to a surgery resident myself or the conversation would have been more like this:

“So we think we can squeeze Kendall in early tomorrow morning between two longer procedures since placing a broviac is a pretty easy and quick procedure.”

Me:” haa haa haaaaaa ha ha ha ha haaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. {picks self up off floor from laughing so hard.} Um. Clearly you haven’t read kendall’s chart. And/or reviewed her history. But sure. Go ahead and try to ‘squeeze her in’.”

I’m hopeful that she really will behave and be quick. i don’t anticipate that she will pull any stunts like last week’s craziness, but I just know she tends to give them a run for their money down there in the OR. Please be in prayer that the line replacement goes as smoothly as it possibly can, and that her blood pressures DO remain stable without too much intervention. We are hopeful that we have a plan in place to stay on top of her pain management, both pre- and post-operatively. (Line placements typically involve a lot of tugging/pulling at the chest wall and leaves Kendall pretty bruised up for a few days – I would imagine it would feel like of like being a punching bag in your upper chest area. Pain control post-broviac-placement is always a tough thing, not even counting her withdrawal issues!)
On top of that, I am supposed to be meeting with two member of Kendall’s medical team to discuss future plans for staying on top of her infections – and both a long term plan for her care as well as short term “let’s get home soon” care. Please be in prayer that we will all communicate effectively at this meeting, and that my true heart for Kendall is heard by her doctor. Please pray for wisdom for him to discern what is the best course of action as we look to take Kendall home and plan for how to KEEP her there! I don’t believe we are going to solve any major mysteries at tomorrow’s meeting, but I do hope we all walk away at least on the same page, and having made a few good decisions regarding her acute home care plan.

So – a full day tomorrow. One day closer to getting home. The whispered plan is that Friday is the day. I think she’s ready. i know I’m ready!

My thoughts are becoming more scattered than usual, and I should probably get in bed so I can be up and ready for them if they do come transport Kendall early in the morning. Sorry if this post is scattered and hard to follow. It really is just me getting a few of my feelings out and onto “paper”.

thank you for your prayers – thank you all for everything.

keep on keepin’ on.

 

terra.