When Stubborn Meets Stroke

Hi.
I haven’t written in a while.
It’s been a journey.

But I promised my mom I would keep writing…start writing?…and well, I’m kinda using it as a bargaining chip with her.

See she had a “massive” stroke on Tuesday morning. That’s the word the medical team uses for it.
Massive.
I’m a hyperbolist by nature, I admit that.

This is not hyperbole.

In a nutshell for those who are wanting to know “what happened?”:
She started a new diabetes medication last week, started having UTI symptoms, became very lethargic and all of this combined with my dad traveling for his work meant that this stubborn woman tried to muscle her way through feeling badly and her body became overwhelmed by all the hard work.
When my dad did get home and take her in, her doctor immediately sent her to the hospital, but they believe that by that time the clot/blockage was already building up and unbeknownst to anyone, she was a ticking time bomb. That bomb went off on Tuesday morning, she was rushed 45 minutes away to a bigger care center, and one that specializes in stroke care/recovery, and here we are.

I know this place. Maybe not these exact hallways, but this place.
This murkiness where you are praying your loved one through the battle for their life.
It is different doing it for your parent than for your child.
It is both harder and easier.

And I do not know this navigation of “stroke recovery”.

I came down to their house in Georgia by Tuesday night. My sister and I met my youngest brother.
We have been at the hospital with her as much as they will let us with the precautions in place. It is hard to not feel frustrated by them, even though I logically understand them.

The doctors here are very good at laying out the options, even though for my Mary Jane, they all seem pretty bad at this point. Because there’s so many unknowns.

What we don’t know is a long list. So I’ll tell you what we DO know.

My mom had a massive stroke on her right side of her brain and this affected her ability to move anything on her left side, open her eyes, or speak/move her mouth.
She was fighting so hard to communicate with us yesterday by scrawling/writing on a paper on a clipboard. But by this morning, it was obvious she was getting tired.
They are doing a daily CT scan at 6 am, and we all anxiously await any shred of good news from them.
Yesterdays confirmed the size of the stroke. Today’s confirmed that our biggest battle the next few days is going to be swelling.
Namely brain swelling.

It feels really bleak from here right now.

But I know this – the woman laying in that bed is one of the most hard-headed, stubborn, for-sure-not-gonna-listen-to-statistics women I’ve ever known.

I know that every time we play her a video from one of her grandkids, she makes these small movements or her heartrate fluctuates.

I know that even on the darkest nights, the sun still rises the next day.

I know that this woman has faith that just might move a mountain.

And I know that she is gonna wake up and smack one of these doctors who are doing a neuro exam one of these days – yelling her name and pinching her. I hope I’m here to see it. I know they’d all gladly take it as a response.

Tonight, she is intubated, and being ornery. They turned down her sedative, and she turned the sass right back up.
I’m happy to see it – but this woman needs to REST and HEAL!

Today was one of the hardest days I’ve ever lived through…as my mom’s main doctor gathered my siblings and my dad and I in the family conference room to give us a realistic picture of what the next few days will hold, and if we make it through those, then the next weeks and months.
To say this is a long road of recovery is an understatement of massive proportions.

But here’s what I know about us Read kids –
We are always up for a challenge, and we will always find a way to get through the darkest situations with humor.
And i think that’s kind of a super power.

At least, I’m gonna hold on to it being one for right now.

My brother started a go fund me for my parents – for their bills, for the inevitable rehab, for so many unknowns. And we have been so very very touched by the outpouring of love from the many lives my parents have reached in their ministry of life. Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts. Thank you to those of you who ran to Venmo when I needed to get to Georgia emergently on Tuesday. I will not ever be able to thank you enough.

There’s so much that goes through my mind in these long hard hours of waiting, watching, hoping, praying. But this one…man this one gets me.

See my mom has always been the biggest nag encourager that I need to “write your book, terra. when is your book getting written? when can i read it?”
And let me tell you this is the best/worst kind of motivation.
I’m gonna get this book written.
And hopefully into her hands.

Hashtag Goals.

Tonight will be another rough night of waiting, hoping, praying.
And probably laughing with my brothers at her house about some of Mary Jane’s “idiosyncracies”. Like having candles in the shower. Boxes of cards literally everywhere. A paint can lid opener in the drawer next to the oven, but not a pizza cutter in sight. Oh wait. It was over by the coffee. Because reasons. Obviously.

It’s how we roll.
And will keep on rolling.
And keep on

keeping on.

You got me to write again, Mary Jane.
You didn’t have to go to these lengths for this.
Come back anytime now, ok?
We all miss you so much.
No one has yelled at me for swearing in like a week.
Just please come back.
I love you mommy.

Love,
Terra Janice.
And Josh, Dan, Noelle and Ben.
And all your daughter/son in laws.
And all 17 grandbabies.
And your husband. He needs you back too.