Have you ever had one of those days/months/years where you just felt kinda….blah?
Like you aren’t really sad so much, but just not excitedly energetic. And certainly not jumping out of bed to steam mop the floors and clean up from a week of kids off school and wreaking havoc in the kitchen. 
You go through the motions and they’re ok…ish. Maybe you have that low-level headache that nags at you, or maybe it’s just the lovely back pain that set in once you turned 40 and hasn’t gone away since.
But it’s a new month – a month full of excitement and plans and holidays and parties and go go go!!!! – so that’s exciting and inspiring, right?
right?
Except when it isn’t. And all of those things just feel like more chores you have to do. Places where your energy gets to drain out of you like holes in a broken sieve. Disenfranchisement has set in about all that is required of you, and the lack of return on that investment of your time, love and energy. You just feel….stuck. Uninspired. Tired. Beige. Blah.
Maybe you even allow yourself to close your eyes for a minute and think back to the last time you felt excited about your life. Hold on, back it up for a second. Not for your kids and their sports wins (even though that’s great!), and not for something your husband has going on with his career or
hobbies (even though that’s great too!)…..but for YOU.
Can you even remember what gets you excited? Or has it been too long?
If it has, i can promise you, you’re not alone. I’ve been there too.
Often.
It’s SO easy to get caught up in the doing for everyone around us that we feel like there’s no time (or energy. or money.) to do for us, to give to ourselves.
Which is actually crap.
Yes of course it’s super altruistic of us to want to give every single part of ourselves away and play the martyr. And yes, even at times, it’s necessary. I’ve lived that too – long weeks in the hospital with one sick one, no income coming in because i couldn’t work, and a pile of laundry and dishes and housework that I almost wished would suffocate me so i could maybe get some sleep while the rubble trapped me for a little bit.
I was doing it “for them”, right? for my beautiful baby girls and THIS, i thought, THIS is how i am a good mom to them.
Wearing the same sweats 3 days in a row, eating and feeding them junk food because there was no energy to cook anything healthy, being so tired and exhausted that I was snapping at them over every little thing… yes. This is the shining example of selfless motherhood that i wanted my legacy to be.
I got a reality check from a friend one night. Who had the bravery to ask me some really tough (and at the time super offensive) questions and get me to take a hard honest look at what I was doing. And from that moment, even though I was only making changes because i didn’t want the sandpaper-rough Q&A questions to continue, I started to change.
And one of those biggest changes was that I started putting myself as a priority. I won’t say quite “first”, at least not always. But (and don’t roll your eyes, because i roll my eyes every time i hear this too but I promise its just the best analogy for right here, right now) – just like they tell you on the airplanes, I put on my own oxygen mask first.
And then…..I inhaled. Deeply.
And I did it again.
And again.
Each of those inhales began to fill my soul up with hope, strength, healing….
and inspiration.
Each new breath fed the one after it – until I realized that in truly taking care of my SELF, my own soul, I was showing up better in the world. I was happy to do all the laundry, I was happy to get to drive around with my crazy kids in the car to heckandgone because i loved being around my crazy little humans.
And I began to create more, to show up in the energy of excitement and love and wonder that inspiration requires. 
While I’d love to give you a 4 point dissertation on “how” to find your own inspiration, it would get long and you’d probably stop reading it about three paragraphs in. So I’ll try to sum it up to a few quick and easy tips:
1. You’ve gotta get REAL serious about putting on that oxygen mask for yourself. Whatever that is and however it looks like for you. It could be something as simple and easy as staying up an hour later, enjoying the heck out of a decadent dessert you picked up Just For You at the grocery store while you watch a movie that doesn’t have animated characters with annoying voices – or it could be as huge as deciding to book that solo trip to somewhere warm for three days of peace and quiet in a cabin in January. This isn’t selfish – it’s self-care. And it’s NECESSARY.
2. When you do whatever it is you’re doing for yourself, FEEL it. With all 5 of your senses. Write it down or make a voice note on your phone – but spend a couple minutes experiencing this gift you’re giving yourself. What do you see, smell, feel, hear, taste?
3. Build in some time (even if it’s only 1 minute at a time!) to sit with the silence, to feel the nothingness. This is called “creating space” for our heart and mind to communicate with our body. Take deep breaths. Blow away any thoughts that come in. Just….Be.
4. Keep repeating steps 1-3. Don’t just do it once and call it good. Continue to build time for YOU into your schedule. It isn’t just an important part of your week, I’d daresay it’s THE most important part of your week. If you’re just starting out and you’re still stuck in the martyr mom mindset, that won’t make any sense to you. Once you’ve begun practicing this, it will make the most sense ever.
I’d love to hear how this sits with you, and what you learn from doing it. And if you’ve BEEN actively carving out time for yourself, and finding that it is giving you the inspiration you’ve been craving, tell us all about it. Inspire someone else to do it for themselves.
Throughout this month, we will be focusing on the theme of “Where are you going?” here on Terra Talking (both the blog and the podcast. ) I know. It’s been a hot minute. But I’ve got plans! And a lot to talk about. So buckle up. Grab some road trip snacks.
And keep on keepin on.