When the waiting seems to go on…

Warning – lots of frustration venting straight ahead – you are hereby warned!

I do not understand the logic behind starving a 3 month old child who already has failure to thrive and is recovering from essentially a life-threatening illness. Kendall was scheduled to have her MRI at 8 am, meaning we took her off her feeds at 4 am. She did start IV fluids at that point, but apparently hooking that up  made the needle pop out of her vein and just dump about 4 ounces of fluid right in her poor little arm. For those who know chunky little kaylen, picture kaylen’s arm on kendall’s body. It’s horrifically grotesque. There is a lot of medical crap that i can handle – puffy blown IV sites are not one of them. i have to keep it under a blanket cause it just makes me cry to see it. I had to walk down into the adolescent care center (a long walk) in order to not hear her screaming as they took that IV out and placed yet another one -her third in 5 days. And I just cried out to God – WHY? Why her? How much more does she need to go through?

She’s such an amazing little trooper. All her nurses and therapists know she is waiting to go, and waiting to eat, and they all keep commenting on how good she is handling it. She just went through physical therapy, and actually did a great job in spite of having one massively swollen arm and being starved. Then respiratory therapy came in for her breathing treatment and she slept through it for once. SO tired.

It is all I can do to hold myself back from going out to the nurse’s station and DEMANDING that someone call Radiology RIGHT NOW. I understand you had some emergencies this morning, well guess what – now kendall’s the emergency! Stuff that in your pipe and smoke it!

I will hold myself back though. Being psychotic to nurses who have no control over this will not help anyone. And really, her nurse today is being a huge advocate for her, helping us keep her as pain free as possible in the meantime.

So that’s where we are right now. Just waiting.

Waiting for a car to go, waiting for the snow to snow

waiting for the phone to ring, waiting for a bird to sing.

All you will do is just WAIT.

(borrowed from the beloved Dr. Seuss)

 

Oh good – one last fun thing – ben just got shards of metal in his lunch. I think the hospital is trying to kill us all today.

Breathe deep.

God is in control here somewhere.

 

terra