I am not sure why i am blogging tonite – all it will end up as is one long whine. But I have no idea when i will have ten minutes all to myself again so, here i am.
Today was the first day of Ben being for real back at work, meaning gone. And of course it was a doozy of a day with kendall deciding she would just throw up every meal she ate (normally she only throws it up partway, then swallows it back down again – no mess!), and then in one grand finale decided to poop out what she had eaten yesterday or something – and it ended up going…well, ok i won’t go into gory details. Suffice it to say, it was time for a bath. In between all of that, though, we have poor kaylen who has been fighting what i assumed to be a minor cold, but it is clearly getting worse. And she just wanted to be held – ALL AFTERNOON. I have no idea when my teeny tiny little baby who had to wear Build-A-Bear outfits for the first month of her life because she was so scrawny went, but in her place is this behemoth of a toddler who is NOT easy to cart around all afternoon! (i should log that as exercise-weight lifting on my food journal…)
something about just knowing there was no tag team relief coming in the door at 5 made this all just ALMOST overwhelming. Somewhere, someway, somehow I was blessed with the grace of God to just keep plodding forward. Make something for dinner, deal with puke, deal with crying baby, deal with feces everywhere, go over homework, pack lunch for tomorrow, brush teeth, dispense medicine, set up humidifier, clean up dinner, put dog outside, feed baby….i have to get into a better rhythm. I am sure it was not a good mommy nite for the older two while all I did was deal with the babies and bark orders, and of course then there is no time for ME to recharge. I have to get up in three hours and start it all over again.
See – told you – massive whine.
but i am done now. I just needed some record of how badly this day sucked so that I could look back on it in a year and… i don’t know. laugh maybe? be proud of myself for surviving? lest you think i am all whine and no fun, i am keeping a “gratitude journal” (on my iphone! holla!), which is good in that even on crappy days like today – i can always find at least 5 things that i am thankful for, ways i am still blessed in spite of the immediate circumstance. And i do know and believe that fully. So I will go to bed, hopefully get a full three hours before the first nightly feeding, and then if i am lucky get another three in before the other girls wake up and we start all over again. My children are truly blessings though and i woudl’nt trade these crazy days for anything in the world. Except maybe 8 straight days of sleep. But even that….you know, its a tough sell.
Anyways – sorry to be debbie downer tonite. Thanks for all the happy comments or just plain commiseration on my facebook though – i don’t think i would be nearly as sane as i am today if it weren’t for good friends who know how to make me laugh.
May you all be blessed with good sleep tonite.
peace out –
*Supah-STAHHHHH*
I feel for ya, sista. It’s so tough to do the single parenting thing… especially at this stage, with babies, and toddlers and preschooler and homework. Holy Cow! I think that’s EVERY stage!
When my hubby is gone for long stretches, I make my kids “pay me” for all the little things I do for them. “That’ll cost ya 20 hugs and three kisses.” Makes me feel better anyway.
His grace IS sufficient!
I just can’t wait for Max’s two loose teeth to come out. He then pays us a quarter to recycle each tooth.