every time you see me

my hammer’s just so hyped.

I’m dope on the floor and i’m magic on the mic.

I have no idea why – but this song has been stuck in my head for the last like three days and its completely annoying.

So – you may wanna run to the bathroom, refill the coffee, do whatever you need to do cause this is going to be a long rambly post with little to no point, but probably a good amount of whining/complaining and reflecting on my part…which makes for a very verbose terra.

So – Father’s Day. What did you all do? We went to church, after i woke up to my WONDERFUL husband moving all the garage sale stuff up from the basement for me so that my mother and I would not be figuring out how the two of us would get these couches up the stairs on a hot thursday nite by ourselves…Church was good. I am truly in love with our church. It is so great to be in a place where you are challenged to grow on a spiritual level in a way that you aren’t having to totally STRIVE to apply to your life. The people there are just REAL. The pastor is REAL. The worship is REAL. And I love it all. I cannot wait to get more involved there and really dig deeper into my spiritual journey there. What am I doing to give back, that sort of thing. Anyways – after church Ben surprised all of us by taking us out to a nice meal at Red Robin. It was neat. With as tight as money has been lately, we haven’t been able to just eat out on a whim like we used to. Which is probably good health wise, but it puts a lot more pressure on me to be making a good meal every nite, which is not so fun and easy when you’re “out to here” pregnant and its 90-plus degrees every day and you have two picky kids who complain about every meal you make. All that whining to say – a good greasy mushroom burger from Red Robin was a great and very appreciated treat yesterday! Phew! When we got home, Ben started packing for this weeks trip to PGH (fedex headquarters) for training for his new job – the girls swam while I sat outside melting with them, spraying the dogs with my water cooler/mister thing. When it was time for him to leave for the airport, they came in and took a nap, which was just a nice break. I wish I could say i was able to scrap during that time, but I feel so distracted I can’t sit and concentrate on being creative. I think I am nesting. Anyways – I did get one of the three kitchen junk drawers cleaned out, which was a good accomplishment, and hope to get to my three remaining “junk spots” in the house this week. I cried when Ben left. I know that compared to so many wives, especially some of my friends who are military wives, that we really don’t have it that bad. But i just = we got to see him for a little less than 48 hours this weekend. I just do’nt feel strong enough this week. I am so worn down with pain and tiredness, I feel like I am always saying no to the girls (“no we can’t go to the park, no i don’t have money for the ice cream man, no you can’t go swimming at 7 am when you wake up….”). I just feel like, in general, a failure in most every part of life. I can’t explain why. Maybe just a touch of antepartum depression? But that’s not even it either. I do’nt know. i am sure it is hormonal in one way or another. But I just – i really really am going to miss him this week. Its like – I know I have to be strong for these 6 days. I know I can’t go into labor, cause he’s not here. I have to hold it together for a set amount of time and I just felt already depleted yesterday. Plus I am realizing how much I really do need him and rely on him for my strength each day. He is my rock, my best friend. And i don’t say that lightly. It has been a TOUGH year of learning and growing for both of us, but the results and fruits of that are really starting to show, and I just want more.

So after he left, we went grocery shopping. It was 95 degrees at 7 o clock pm last nite on our way to the store. Now for some of you in southern regions – that may be like – yeah, duh. But here, in the good ol’ chicagoland area – that is UNHEARD of – its still SPRING technically!!! We haven’t had a rainstorm in over a week – the pressure building is just craziness – my sinuses i thought were going to explode out of my head yesterday! They say tonite we’re supposed to get some good storms though – I certainly hope so. I am no lawn maintenance person like my husband. I have no idea how to set up the sprinklers with the right angles and water pressure to get the most out of our ever-growing water bill. I can remember to water my few porch plants and that’s about it!

So today we are going to go up to my parent’s house – just to break up the monotony of our weeks alone, a change of pace. We have to bring the puppies with us – which should be a fun adventure! They were wicked little monkeys last nite and would NOT come back inside at 11 when i tried to get them in to go to their crates for the nite!!! The picture of 9 month prego me trying to catch these slippery little puppies was, i am sure, quite hilarious – good thing it was dark. I just hope no one was in their backyards enjoying a nice bud lite, watching the show though!

I can’t remember right now what all else I had to complain about – so – i’ll stop here.

Let’s see if we can get a few photo’s to insert themselves here…just snapshots of our weekend.

ok nevermind -i forgot to convert these latest ones to websized! Will be back more with more pics though!

have a happy monday!

and remembber – you can’t touch this….