I figured if I am going to actually make this challenge work, I better have some kind of plan for these posts.
well…
I couldn’t come up with a plan, but I did at least find some inspo for posts when I’m not sure where to start, so forgive me if some of these start to become shmaltzy. We are going to not pass judgement on shmaltziness here on Terra Talking for the month of May, mmmmkkkk??? Good.
Anyways – Did April seem to fly by for anyone else? I was looking back in my planner today and was just like….yeah what happened to this month? We got back from Spring Break, had some cold weather, and then bam it was Easter and now it’s May.
But in spite of how fast it flew by, it was a month of some deep digging, soul-searching I might even say – and hopefully, some good growth. It felt like it was an emotional month for me, and I know from a few conversations with friends that they definitely felt that intense emotional energy also. Did you?
I thought it was brutal and I’m glad I don’t feel that same deepness currently, but I am glad for the lessons in self it brought up for me. Without further rambling, here’s the lessons I learned in April:
1. Unexpected Blows can sometimes become our Unequivocal Blessings
I thought I knew where I was going to take my business/personal dealings in April. I thought it was relatively planned out. I had worked hard to get certain things into place and I was proud of myself and in awe at how I felt like things were going according to plan. But then…that just kind of unraveled. It wasn’t any one thing in particular, it was just this slow undoing of what I thought was happening. It seemed like in an old Tom and Jerry cartoon, where the mouse runs off with a string in it’s mouth and the sweater of the cat just disappears as the stitches undo themselves.
I was very thrown off. Not because I am used to things actually working out – that unraveling is definitely more in line with how I’m used to life going! – but because I thought I had done so much good inner work and had shifted my mindset to be ready for “The Plan”. And while I’m still not entirely sure where things go from here, going through this unraveling led me to the realization that life is somehow better when you don’t have it all planned out. It allows for this space of the unknown to be filled in with all kinds of hopeful expectancy. Could an unexpected check arrive in the mail? Will I figure this all out on my own? Maybe I’ll find $900 in cash laying on some wet pavement if I keep my eyes open…. (and yes that actually happened once to me!) But in all this unknowing, I realized that it created space for God to show up, however that was going to look like. And it shifted my thinking entirely. I like this space. (Don’t get me wrong, I love plans too, and i love knowing things….but sometimes, not knowing can be just as awesome.)
2. “Life Moves Pretty Fast. If You Don’t Stop & Look Around Once In A While, You Could Miss It.” – Ferris
Ok so I’ve learned this lesson before, but April definitely reminded me to really take hold of each day in May. I was looking for some older pictures and in finding them, found others too, of a time long past. When I had teeny little babies, and growing little 7 year olds, and I have no idea how I survived those days, with everyone needing so much from me, and never having anything left for myself….But I did it. I survived. I got them all to this point and they are all so amazing in their own ways. School will be over in 4 weeks and then we start the countdown of Kealey’s last year of high school. Anyways I’m not gonna be a sap about that (yet) but I was vividly reminded of just how fast the days really do go when you’re always looking for the next “thing”….so I’ve dropped that, and i’m just enjoying “now”. Being grateful for all the minutes…even the frustrating ones. May of 2018, Kendall became the sickest she has ever been in her life. One year can really open your eyes to just how precious life is. I’m humbled to be able to still live this lesson every day. April solidified that. Slow down. Breathe. Enjoy just being alive. It’s a privilege lost to so many every day.
3. Confidence is the Fuel for Your Dreams.
And if that sounds like a hallmark poster…well, it’s not. But I can see where it might sound like that.
A long, long, LONG talk one night with a friend revealed this truth that’s always been hiding in plain sight for me. Confidence. You think you know what it means, and how it looks….but do you? Better yet – do you HAVE confidence? In everything, in who YOU are, in how YOU walk/talk/look/act/work/show up in this world….? Because while I wouldn’t have said I necessarily lacked confidence, I realized that i wasn’t fully OWNING that confidence, or living it out loud. For why? I mean, sure i could list a bunch of excuses, but they aren’t real REASONS. The REASON I wasn’t showing up as my confident self is because I stopped believing in myself somewhere along the way. Probably right around the time I stopped really knowing myself, standing up for myself, and being myself. Those things are so easily swept away when you are “mom” and “caregiver” and “support person”….Well no more. i’m taking back all of me. And i’m showing up as me. And I’m living my life, every day, confidently as ME. I’m learning to ask ME what I need and require every day, and then I’m setting out to live up to that. And I’ll let you in on a little secret – you are worth doing the exact same thing. God created YOU – every cell of your being – because He knew the world needed YOU, right here, right now, with all your amazing gifts. So confidently own that. Confidently live that. Confidently BE you. (And in case you think i’m wrapping this one up – you’d be wrong. This is gonna be a great podcast episode. I’ll let you know as soon as it’s live!)
So there you have it. My top 3 lessons learned in April. Kinda hoping May is a little lighter on the lesson teaching… a nice relaxing chill month would be pretty perfect right about now!
Are you a fan of the Terra Talking Facebook Page yet? i’m going live on there every day in May too, completely separate (more random and less scripted) topics~ except I am focusing on my “find your fire” mantra every day in different aspects. It’s not just for women – dudes you may pick up a thing or two from it too!
As always, thanks for reading, thanks for being here, thanks for all your support over all the years, and all the days. I love hearing from you so drop a comment, send an email, drop your favorite emoji phrase,
anything! Let me know you’re here!
I hope you are all having an amazing day~
I will have some questions/homework for you all tomorrow.
Get wrecked. It’s gonna be lit.
Party on Party People.
T.