“Why is there a Meijer basket in the back seat?” And other random things that get said out loud here at my house.
To be fair, it’s there because I needed it for something i had to do today with work. I’ll take it back tomorrow, don’t worry.
Speaking of Don’t Worry…
Yes Be Happy.
That’s exactly what I was going to say.
I have a little sign up on the kitchen table. I had put the words “Be Happy” on it last week. Yesterday I noticed that one of my darling offspring, born WELL after Bobby McFerrin popularized/killed our ears with his song, had added the “Don’t Worry” part. I know it was from one of them, but I realized that wherever it came from, that message was specifically directed at me.
I am learning the “Be Happy” part. I can usually find at least a few minutes where I put the hard stuff to the side for a few minutes and I focus on the happy things: our laughter, good food, McDonald’s Coke, an hour in the afternoon to watch my show some days, fierce lip gloss that pulls a look together….
But it is harder to get past the “Don’t Worry” part. Even in the fun and happiness, there is worry. Worry over Kendall, worry over this flu epidemic that would absolutely undo my medically fragile immunocompromised one, worry about her IEP coming up, worry about money, worry about my job being enough, worry about whether my girls will ever trust men again, worry that I’m not enough for them, worry…worry…worry…..All I know how to do some days is worry.
So I am working on the not worrying, and trying to focus on the be happy, and trying through all of this to just roll with the punches that end up with meijer baskets in the back seat and Kendall coloring her hair LITERALLY with a red marker and the fact that my house is just really never going to be clean like ever. We are together. We are alive and healthy(ish). We laugh hard. A lot. We are surviving and we are thriving and we are doing all the things I was scared to death I couldn’t do last year at this time. So I stop and think….yeah. I’m doing it. I’m going to keep doing it. I’m going to keep living and learning and growing and waiting….
And I’m going to crank up the volume on the speaker and blast the kitchen with these words while my babies and I all dance…
“here’s a little song I wrote..
you might want to sing it, note for note:
Don’t Worry
Beeeeeee Happpayyyyyy”
Party On, Party People~
T.