Oh my gosh – talk about your rude awakenings! it got FREEZING over the weekend! I always HATE the ending of summer, the flipover to cold weather. I mean, don’t get me wrong – I am a huge fan of all the gorgeous colors and textures and tastes that signify “autumn”. But I still hate saying goodbye to the hot weather, the swimming, the carefree evenings laying on the backporch arguing over whether something is a star a planet or a space station.
And inevitably – it happens nearly overnite around here. We have four seasons, sure, but we NEVER get eased into them! It goes from 90’s last weekend to 40’s this weekend. Awesome. So today I am busy dragging out all my fall decorations to put on the porch because if I don’t do it now, it will be time to do Christmas stuff. And this concludes the non-random portion of this blog post because I have had four cups of coffee today and I am just going to stream out everything that i am thinking today because I am feeling slightly ADD – ENJOY!
So – I love my front porch. It is one of the main reasons Ben bought this house (without me – did you know that? I have not been a part of any of our house purchases! he picks them out, I sign the papers, and THEN I get to come see it as we’re moving in! Random factoid #892.) But in some weird hidden part of me, I would love to be one of “those” people – who have this amazing martha stewarty ability to decorate their porch and have it be magazine worthy. I would really love to have all this cool antiquey stuff out there (and I can just see my husband cringing right now), and make it look all “fall-ey” and whatnot. In my mind there is this picture but I know I am not describing it right. But yeah, that’s what i WANT to do. Except I probably won’t. Because, well, our porch is poorly placed in relation to the insane winds that come sweeping off the prairie (corn fields) that blows EVERYTHING from one end of the porch to the other, is one good reason. the fact that I would probably be writing a one way ticket for “seriously-upset-husbandville” is another. And a serious lack of fundage to go purchase all of this falley antiquey stuff is probably the main reason. Add in the fact that I have been, at times, known to procrastinate a little bit on big projects like this and – recipe for disaster. I know this about myself, but it doesn’t stop me from dreaming about it. And maybe someday I’ll be able to form a better picture of it so that I can just DO it and not procrastinate it, and it will be beautiful and lovely and Ben will LOVE it instead of wanting to curl into the fetal position at the very thought…
Anyways. there’s lots of other projecty things like that that are itching at the corners of my mind – what with all my free time now that i am unemployed! And slowly slowly slowly – I am inching closer to them. Closets that have long gone neglected are being cleaned out. Well meaning piles of paperwork and other “important stuffs” are being sifted through and sorted. Pretty soon I will have all of my “projects” upstairs done, and I will be forced into the pit of despair – aka, the basement. Now those of you who have been to my house, you know, because some of you have even said it out loud to me – there are hardly any toys here!!! And it’s true. We have a minimum of toys upstairs. Kendall has her box of therapy stuff in the living room corner which sometimes trickles out around the family room/kitchen, and there are almost always at least one or two baby strollers with various babies and assorted baby accessories laying around ready to trip you. But when I have taken the time to clean up that clutter – you really don’t see a whole lot of toys on this floor. Their bedrooms don’t have much in the way of toys either. And that’s because….
They are overtaking the basement. That is why no one is allowed down there. Except the kids. who go down there and make even MORE of a mess. Ugh. It hurts my head to think about it. I know I need to just go down there with a shovel and a pack of garbage bags, at least to clear a path to where I think the couch and treadmill used to be located. This is obviously going to be a long winter’s project. But we will get there. I have faith! And then – glorious day – I might even find my “scrap room” again. And I might be motivated to sit and do something crafty or creative. and I think then is when I will start to “find myself” again. I haven’t really done a whole lot of anything creative in a few years. I have tried, sure. False starts here and there. But the problem is that real life takes back over. And it sucks every last ounce of creative energy I can create. And that makes me miss it more, makes me long for that part of me back. I can’t describe it. (Clearly i am having a communication issue today!) But it is, or will be, a sign that we are really MOVING again, moving forward with life that has felt put on hold for almost 2 years now. Maybe it is more of a cathartic cleansing process for my soul with all this project clean up and clean out. Maybe its just knowing that at some point you have to let go of the newborn baby toys, throw the broken things out, and make it an easier thing for your kids to put their own toys away.
I don’t know. I am torn between digging too deep into the deeper meanings of all this decluttering and then just looking at it on the surface for what it is – just gettin’ a little order around here! I think maybe the season changes do this to me. Make me want to figure out what I am going to do with my winter hibernation. Gosh I should not drink two cups of coffee before I blog. I feel like I am all over the place today.
so tell me – what do your front porches look like? how do you decorate for fall? how often do you go through your kids’ toys and throw them out? how many cups of coffee have you had so far today? tell me anything!
i’ll be back with more later I am sure. I gotta update about kendall’s medically fun week/weekend. 😛