Sorry if that is not quite a direct translation of Jesus’ admonition to us – to not worry about tomorrow because today has enough troubles of its own. I definitely feel like i am there.
I have quite a large capacity for medical info/knowledge being thrown at me, and being able to convert it into “practical layman’s terms” so that I can actually apply that knowledge into creating health for my children and occasionally myself. But today I have hit my wall. The last specialist came in around 7 tonite, and his little shpiel just about literally made my head explode. I think i seriously saw a little puff of smoke come out of my ears while he was talking.
But here is what I do know, for today.
Her MRI is clear. Clear from what I couldn’t tell you exactly – but I know its a very good thing. We took a LOT of bad, scary things off of the table with this news. In the words of the neurologist, “It’s frustrating in that we don’t have THE solid answer of what’s wrong, but it’s a huge relief in that we know a whole lot more about what NOT’s wrong, and that is very good”. Indeed.
Her kidney ultrasound, on the other hand -not so cut and dried.
Apparently it IS abnormal -but i am not sure how/why/what. There is clearly some kidney involvement with her failure to thrive – but whether it’s her kidneys that are leading the way or they are reacting to some other problem remains to be seen. So more testing over the next few days. More antibiotics.
Infectious Disease specialist will have to read the renal U/S report also to make her determination about whether we need to keep kendall here for a 2 week round of antibiotics to treat her sepsis (blood infection). There’s a lot of question about what is causing the infection, the kinds of organisms her cultures are growing, etc.
This is where my brain is tonite. Barely able to hold it all. But i know God can. So i am putting all these big words and diagnostic tests and worries and hopes into a box and putting it in God’s hands tonite. And he is taking the box and mixing in all your thoughts and prayers, and is even now, working it all together for good. Someway, someday, somehow – this will all be good. It will all be alright In the words of Bob Marley –
One heart, one love
Let’s praise the Lord and it will be alright.
hopefully i wake up tomorrow with a very clear mind and a renewed ability to be the advocate kendall needs me to be for her tomorrow.
Please pray for the other girls too. I miss them beyond belief and I know this isn’t easy on them. Pray that I get to have a few hours where i can leave and go home and see them for a while.
thank you so much for your prayers. You are all the wind beneath my wings.
(hey cut me a little slack – i’m tired, hormonal, and emotional. wind beneath my wings is a perfectly appropriate song to break down crying to!)
raising a plastic cup with an impossible to peel off foil lid of apple juice to all my homies –