But i have to get it out somewhere first.
Today I was a bad mom. or yesterday if you wanna split hairs. Its just been one long day around here.
I just was fed up with the mess still all over, the nonstop asking for food/snacks/candy, the “undo these five million plastic thingies holding this toy to this cardboard” and “can we open up this new toy/item and make a mess with it even though I just asked you to open up a different toy/item three seconds ago that i am now bored with” and just….
it was all too much.
In between all of that we had kendall pulling more “kendallisms” and swinging from one extreme (not pooping in three days) to the other (diarrhea that soaked everything in sight four times today), getting super puffy in her face all of a sudden, going pale, then blue, wrestling her to the ground to stick the cannula on her, digging through three boxes to find the duoderm tape (skin protectant) so I could put tegaderm (super sticky skin destroying adhesive) over the cannula to KEEP. IT. ON. Because as much as i know it doesn’t make sense, I use the oxygen as a magic placebo to make everything better. If she keeps that thing on her face then we get to stay out of the hospital. the end. And they all lived happily ever after. amen.
It was just a doozy of a day.
And seriously every time I would finally get to sit down for two seconds, there was another emergency or need. Pick up friends for the girls to play with. Drop friends off at home because mom was coming home. Pick up Ben’s rental car at the enterprise. Clean up the glass from the snowglobe that Kaylen shattered all over the floor playing with Kendall. Make dinner. Do 7 loads of laundry from miss poop-factory. Try to not worry over the fact that all of what kendall is doing could mean dehydration/acidosis/anemia worsening/kidney function tanking/GI function tanking/pick a body system that isn’t doing it’s job – and that at any time this week she might need to be run to the lab or the ER or just direct admitted and the upheaval that will be to life.
I know I shouldn’t be complaining. It’s Christmas. It’s a New Year. She is still home and mostly healthy. We are still home and mostly healthy with her. We have a beautiful home and nice clothes and five million plastic things to take off of seven million baby dolls and their various accessories. we are blessed. i know this. I cherish it in my heart.
But every once in a while, that heart just wants three minutes of peace and quiet.
I am getting some now. It is almost 1 am and i am finally getting my peace and my quiet. It is restoring my soul. i will be tired tomorrow, but i will be able to function in spirit. Thank you for letting me get this out. for not judging what i post here in my little web-corner. for the prayers you send upward on our behalf and the emails you send forward to let us know that you are praying. for the texts and the facebook funnies and just all of it.
Sorry about this ugly post. I will have a funner, more pretty, full of nice pictures Christmas celebration one up soon.