the other side.

We made it to the other side of surgery.

we survived a nite of hellish pain (on kendall’s part) that i wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. At one point she had four doses of morphine stacked on top of each other and it wasn’t even close to touching the pain. her throat was ripped up from being intubated so she had this pitiful raspy cry, and huge puffy eyes that she couldn’t even open and all the meds to paralyze her were still in effect so she was just laying there screaming, heartrate going through the roof, and i thought i was for sure going to lose it.

i have never ever in my life wanted so badly to take the pain away from one of my babies. i was pleading with God to please please just give her rest and give ME the pain, let ME be the one moaning. After about two hours of chaos she finally got on top of the pain, barely, around midnite, and then we just had to be super-vigilant to bring the meds in every 1.5 hours. Around 5:30 this morning she actually was able to stretch to 2.5 hours, which was a good sign. And then this morning at 11, Dr. A walked in and I saw the first hint of my baby, when she gave him the littlest smile, all she could muster at that point. Ben came shortly after that, and that got a little bigger smile, and by just before noon we heard the most beautiful sound in the world – her little giggle.

May-June 2009 134 it was a rough nite. I feel beat up – and i didn’t even endure 5 hours of horrific surgery! she is one amazing strong little trooper. I could not be MORE proud to be her momma. She is truly an inspiration to me for how brave she is. She amazes me more every day.

And finally, finally, we were able to start giving her real FOOD again. I about threw a med student through the window when he told me for about the 893rd time “but she’s on IV fluids!” ARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!! IDIOT! Yes the fluids are keeping her alive, thank you very much for that, Einstein. IV fluids ARE NOT FOOD. But if you’d like, i’ll go ahead and hook you up to a few IV’s and then take EVERYTHING else away from you – and three days later you tell me how you feel, ok? Good. Deal. Now ST*U (if you don’t know don’t ask) – and send in a REAL doctor who can get my baby some food!

Thank the good lord above for his grace and mercy because i did NOTMay-June 2009 095 actually go that ballistic on him, I was much calmer, but i did have to explain to him that IV fluids were not true nutrition and that after almost 3 days of no nutrition in a child who is BARELY above the failure to thrive diagnosis, we need to be a bit more proactive in coming up with plan B. So she got pedialyte started at a very slow rate into her new “tubey” about an hour ago, and is finally resting peacefully.

she is still in PICU, but is being transferred to “floor care” which means she still shares a nurse with only one other patient, but the regular floor doctors can handle her care and transition her back to her regular room sometime today, assuming all goes well with her feeds this afternoon. Barring any RANDOM events (which i truly don’t put past kendall!), we should be back here tonite, and talking about discharge tomorrow afternoon i believe. she did have to have ANOTHER chest x-ray run this morning as she sounds ridiculously junky – so fingers crossed that its just a lot of leftover fluid that pooled during her surgery and isn’t growing another pneumonia. I really think i might have a teeny break from reality if that happens. I’m just sayin’, consider yourselves warned.

So that’s the big update for today. She survived. She’s amazing. She is going to have one HECK of a story to share someday. The scar on the back of her leg looks like a lightning bolt and we told her this morning that if she wants, she can get one tattooed over the scar. She didn’t jump at the thought, but you know, i think it will grow on her.

and now we just wait – pray, hope that her feeds continue to go in with no problem.

at least the end of this stay seems to be in sight.May-June 2009 069

Soon we’ll be back to THIS baby, and better. I can’t WAIT to see how  much better she feels now that we’ve been able to give her so much support!

your prayers are, as always, so very appreciated.


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  1. A lightning bolt scar?! She’ll be like Harry Potter if he’s still cool when she gets to grade school. 🙂

    In all seriousness, this is great news and I am so thrilled that she has pulled through and is giggling again. This girl will be so strong in adversity – she will be able to pull through anything, especially with such wonderful parents to teach her who Jesus is – the One who brought her each step of the way.

  2. What a happy-looking cutie patootie! Should we start calling her “Bolt”? Not very feminine, but very strong…

    I read every word you write with utmost interest and care, Terra!

  3. Your updates are my main reason for going on the Internet…well you and fake shopping Amazon. So desperately hoping Kendall is way above the pain tonight so that all of you can rest a little easier.

  4. I never doubted that a daughter of yours could pull through something like this! Praise God that you are the perfect mommy for Kendall who will fight tooth and nail for your baby girl.
    Faith 🙂

  5. i am hereby going to banish comments that make me cry. consider yourselves warned!!!!
    I might start letting the spam ones about growing my manhood larger through just so i can laugh!
    thank you all so much for your kind words, support, and prayers.

  6. After reading everything Kendall has gone through, it gives me no reason to complain about the little things that go wrong with our family. I hope you get home soon and enjoy a wonderful weekend with all your girls! Can’t get enough of the great updates! Karen

  7. Whew. Well, I just got finished reading the past 2 or 3 posts since I didn’t know very many details about Kendall’s surgery. Terra, I was bawling. It was so hard to read it and you just lived it. You are such an amazing mother. Not only am I praising God for bringing Kendall through the surgeries but especially for giving her the Mama that He did. And I’m praying for healing, for all procedures to work successfully for Kendall’s well-being and for life to be just the amount of “normal” that you need.

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