We made it to the other side of surgery.
we survived a nite of hellish pain (on kendall’s part) that i wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. At one point she had four doses of morphine stacked on top of each other and it wasn’t even close to touching the pain. her throat was ripped up from being intubated so she had this pitiful raspy cry, and huge puffy eyes that she couldn’t even open and all the meds to paralyze her were still in effect so she was just laying there screaming, heartrate going through the roof, and i thought i was for sure going to lose it.
i have never ever in my life wanted so badly to take the pain away from one of my babies. i was pleading with God to please please just give her rest and give ME the pain, let ME be the one moaning. After about two hours of chaos she finally got on top of the pain, barely, around midnite, and then we just had to be super-vigilant to bring the meds in every 1.5 hours. Around 5:30 this morning she actually was able to stretch to 2.5 hours, which was a good sign. And then this morning at 11, Dr. A walked in and I saw the first hint of my baby, when she gave him the littlest smile, all she could muster at that point. Ben came shortly after that, and that got a little bigger smile, and by just before noon we heard the most beautiful sound in the world – her little giggle.
it was a rough nite. I feel beat up – and i didn’t even endure 5 hours of horrific surgery! she is one amazing strong little trooper. I could not be MORE proud to be her momma. She is truly an inspiration to me for how brave she is. She amazes me more every day.
And finally, finally, we were able to start giving her real FOOD again. I about threw a med student through the window when he told me for about the 893rd time “but she’s on IV fluids!” ARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!! IDIOT! Yes the fluids are keeping her alive, thank you very much for that, Einstein. IV fluids ARE NOT FOOD. But if you’d like, i’ll go ahead and hook you up to a few IV’s and then take EVERYTHING else away from you – and three days later you tell me how you feel, ok? Good. Deal. Now ST*U (if you don’t know don’t ask) – and send in a REAL doctor who can get my baby some food!
Thank the good lord above for his grace and mercy because i did NOT actually go that ballistic on him, I was much calmer, but i did have to explain to him that IV fluids were not true nutrition and that after almost 3 days of no nutrition in a child who is BARELY above the failure to thrive diagnosis, we need to be a bit more proactive in coming up with plan B. So she got pedialyte started at a very slow rate into her new “tubey” about an hour ago, and is finally resting peacefully.
she is still in PICU, but is being transferred to “floor care” which means she still shares a nurse with only one other patient, but the regular floor doctors can handle her care and transition her back to her regular room sometime today, assuming all goes well with her feeds this afternoon. Barring any RANDOM events (which i truly don’t put past kendall!), we should be back here tonite, and talking about discharge tomorrow afternoon i believe. she did have to have ANOTHER chest x-ray run this morning as she sounds ridiculously junky – so fingers crossed that its just a lot of leftover fluid that pooled during her surgery and isn’t growing another pneumonia. I really think i might have a teeny break from reality if that happens. I’m just sayin’, consider yourselves warned.
So that’s the big update for today. She survived. She’s amazing. She is going to have one HECK of a story to share someday. The scar on the back of her leg looks like a lightning bolt and we told her this morning that if she wants, she can get one tattooed over the scar. She didn’t jump at the thought, but you know, i think it will grow on her.
and now we just wait – pray, hope that her feeds continue to go in with no problem.
Soon we’ll be back to THIS baby, and better. I can’t WAIT to see how much better she feels now that we’ve been able to give her so much support!
your prayers are, as always, so very appreciated.