It is 5:54am Eastern Time. I realize I am not even in my own time zone.
It is already warm and muggy outside.
I have been up for a couple hours now. I woke up and showered and packed the few things that I needed for this morning and I cleaned out the room at the Ronald McDonald House. There is a checklist they give you. “wipe down mirrors and all shelves. Scrub toilet with provided cleanser and brush. Take trash outside to green dumpsters.” I like this checklist. I can follow it robotically. Check. Check. Check.
In my head is another checklist.
“get heavy cooler down three flights of stairs. Come back. Get suitcase and two small bags downstairs. Wonder how you will do this at the airport while pushing an exhausted child in a wheelchair. Hope you can find a wheelchair. You’re going to need to ask someone for help. Yes I know you hate doing this. Do it anyways. Clean out the room. Get downstairs. Call security for a ride. Go back to the hospital to check Kendall out. Google how long it will take you to drive to the airport. Is an uber or a taxi better? Ask the nurses.”
But I have checked off so many things already.
I am on near robot mode.
Yes we are headed home. I am so glad for this. But the amount of items i need to check off my list between now and there….I am nearly overwhelmed, unsure of my own ability to navigate this journey and all it will require of me alone.
I pray that i don’t get a lot of resistance at the check in counter as i have zero identification for Kendall. Ben texted me a pic of her birth certificate. I hope this is helpful. I am getting a letter from the doctors to present at TSA to hopefully explain why I am bringing syringes with needles and a lot of fluids with us. I dread this task.
I am prepared for hundreds of questions and all the resistance I am sure I will get. But I am not looking forward to it. I hope I’m just worried for nothing.
We are still waiting for the doctors to come in and do their final sign off so papers can be printed and signed and we will officially be on our own. Our night nurse has done a great job of trying to get everything timed right so we will leave here with a fully medicated kiddo so I am not having to stop to push meds into her IV while trying to navigate an airport I’ve never been to. I am tired and I am nervous and I am just worn out, and I am relying on a God bigger than my whininess to move us through this next phase of the long journey home. Because right now i don’t feel up to the task.
But I will.
At some point in the next couple hours, I will realize that I am doing this. I am just….doing it. I am checking off the things in my head that need to be checked off that never ending list. And that we are headed home.
Home to real beds and home to real showers and home to everything that is safe and familiar and comfortable.
I honestly don’t even know how long she’s on antibiotics for at this point. We missed a neurology appointment for her at Milwaukee which we were supposed to discuss her migraines at that appointment. I had to reschedule it for a couple weeks out.
Anyways….
I need to finish packing up the few things in her room and make sure it all fits into my two carryon bags.
I am so grateful that we have had such amazing care in this place this week. I am thankful to have witnessed the beautiful human spirit in action as some of my friends in Illinois mobilized friends of friends here in Florida, and my child was clothed, and strangers brought me brownies and sushi and cokes and even a few things for me to rotate in with my two outfits. It is a gift to witness the outpouring of kindness from people who don’t even really know us, and from those of you who DO know us and have walked this path with us from the beginning. To feel the uplifting of our spirits and our weary bodies from the thousands of prayers from our kendall krew. It is a gift….Yes even in times like this. This life is a gift.
So back to my checklists I go.
I am soaking up my last little bit of ocean view, watching the seagulls fly outside our window.
It has been a great trip, but I’m ready to head home now.
Thank you so much for everything you have all done for us. Thank you for being here with us.
I hope it is an awesome Friday for you all~ Check my blog page (FB:: terratalkingtheblog) later for everyone’s favorite, 5 things friday!
Peace out party people.
Terra.