And no i am not talking about basketball.
I am talking about the insane kind of mad you go when you have cleaned up a 2 year old’s mess-making chaos at LEAST 828 times in the past 6 hours, and you haven’t changed out of your own pajamas all day, and doing one task leads to 7 others, which require you to look in 23 different places for the one thing you need to complete the 5th item, and then you find something ELSE to add to your list of things to do while you are still trying to JUST BREATHE and start your day.
THAT kind of madness.
The kind that can only come on the heels of a very long winter. With still a few weeks left to go before any kind of real relief is in sight. I am sure you have all been there. Or maybe ARE there still. I am sure I will snap out of it soon. i hate feeling this way. I am sure my family hates me feeling this way even more! But such is the circle of life. It is this growing underneath the ground, waiting for the right time to become a new little shoot of green poking up through the dead brown grass around you. It is the pains of trying to push through the hardened earth that has protected you all winter, and reach for the warmer sun.
I am just tired I think.
But hey, if I can make it to midnight tonite, it will be a WHOle week since we have been in the ER or a doctor’s office. So I’ll take that! I am still having bad pains every once in a while, but I can’t attach them to specific meals, so i don’t even know if it’s more gall bladder or more ulcerish (the two things they are tossing out as possible explanations for all the craziness of last week). Either way – I am just ready for it to all be gone. Ready for normalcy in our life (wait did I just say that out loud?!?!? What does that even mean????) Ready for the warmth (at least in a relative sense) of spring days. Ready to get out of the house and into the yard and back into enjoying life OutSide.
There is really nothing new to report aside from that. We survived Kealey’s birthday party with a few of her school friends (I couldn’t handle more than a handful of 8 year olds running around here with makeup on and dancing to miley cyrus tunes!!!!) – I was so glad to see her really soaking up the awesomeness of a day JUST for her! She totally got the short end of the stick last year with Kendall being discharged ON her birthday with the PICC – so Ben and I were zombies until the 2nd week of March, and then 10 days later Kendall was back in the hospital! We went to see a movie with a couple of her friends from the neighborhood last year – but I know it wasn’t the same as having her own real birthday party. So I tried to make it up to her this year. And I think it worked! I will have pics in a future post I promise!
So that’s where we are on this first day of March. Ready to shed this winter. Looking forward to a good spring, to newness, and mostly to sunshine and warmth. I would love by some miracle to be able to go somewhere for the girls’ spring break – somewhere warm as long as I’m dreaming! But I think we might have to settle for the relative warmth of the end of March as compared to the beginning of March!
We have a couple long days in Milwaukee coming up in a couple weeks – 4 appts in two days so far – but I haven’t finished making phone calls yet to see if we can cram even more into our two days!!! Kendall is doing good – we just need to figure out where this random “reverse pressure” seems to be coming from in her gut (meaning when we try to plug in her venting/draining tube, pressure from her stomach is popping it right back off, making it very hard to then be able to get the air/pressure out!), and then just some general check-up and wellbeing questions with her complex care team and genetics.
We also had a chance to finally get some “1 year” pics of her! i mean, ok so she’s closer to 16 months now, but really, who’s counting?!?!?! As soon as I get my hands on some of them (my darling sister is editing them, well, she will be as soon as her computer gets fixed….) i will post them here for all to enjoy!
More Whiney Boringness headed your way tomorrow!