I know I haven’t addressed it here on the blog. It has been a huge weight on my heart for a few weeks. And for those of you who don’t live nearby/know about my job/care about that kind of thing – you can go ahead and skip this one.
But for those of you who DO know, and DO care, and just DON’T know what to say to me, here goes.
Getting fired did not come as a surprise, but it did come as a shock. mostly in the way it went down. And my biggest problem with HOW it went down is the only reason I am putting this on this public forum. Because I never was given a chance to tell MY side of the story. So for those of you who care to know it, and care to come here and read it, I hope this helps.
For the record, the reasons that were given to me were :I am not organizationally able to keep up with the demands of the job, I am administratively not performing the job, and I was unable to fulfill the recruiting requirements for the position. In essence boiling down to the fact that I was not completing checklists and forms that were presented to me to help me be more efficient and effective at my job/ministry. All of this is true and I am not denying that they are valid issues. I was given a checklist to complete by my boss in april, and by August I had failed to complete that checklist. He was very upfront with the fact that if I did not complete it, I would be fired. I understood this and agreed to this at that time.
so that is the WHY of why I was fired from my position as Kidstown Director.
Nothing else has been done that should be shedding any negative light or negative lines of questioning as to my integrity or character. I WISH the announcement on Sunday would not have left the door open to so many questions, or the opportunity for people to begin questioning or gossiping about what happened or what I did or why the elders made this decision. I hope that you all know that this has NOTHING to do with how much I love your kids, how much I love your families, how very much i LOVED this job. That is the reason I have held on and fought so hard to the very end – because I love what I do.
Me being fired has NOTHING to do with anything other than this – I suck at administrative things. I am not organized. I am not a forward planner. I am a Last –Minute Lucy. And my boss decided that he could no longer work like that. He simply made a business decision, end of story. The above statements are totally true and correct. I am a horrible planner/organizer/administrator. I never claimed to be a good one! And if you know me at all, the thought that I could even ATTEMPT to complete a four page checklist in four months should make you laugh out loud!
So that’s what happened.
I want you all to know that I still DO love your kids, love you, love your families. Nothing has changed that. Me being fired has not changed ME in any way. You can still come up to me at church and talk to me like you used to. I do not need to be treated like a diseased pariah, or avoided because you might say something wrong, or talked about behind my back at your small groups or coffee gatherings. I am still just me. I would welcome the opportunity to answer any questions you may have regarding ME and MY actions.
I have a whole lot more to say on this subject regarding HOW I feel about being fired in this way. But this is not the forum for that. If you would truly like to read the rest of this blog post, I will share it with you if you email me and ask for it, and if I feel that your intentions in reading it are true – and that is to get BOTH sides of the story. Because here is the one thing I have really learned through all of this : Actions speak so much louder than words. If you are going to TELL someone that you have been worried about them for a year or more, please make sure that you have at least done ONE THING to SHOW that worry. this doesn’t have to be anything huge. A quick phone call, a short email, a hug in the hallway – these are all ACTION items to back up your verbal claims. I will tell you it has made me really analyze how I am ACTING to be like I am SAYING.
If you have questions about what happened, you can ask me. Or you can ask the elders. Or you can ask us both. I just want you to know that I am Ok with talking about it. I’d rather talk about it. I’d rather that you know for sure in your heart that this has nothing to do with anything except my own lack of administrative skills. I guess I must have lost one of my WonderWoman super power cuffs somewhere over the last few years. And that’s ok. I’ll find it again soon.
so there you go.
I’m still me. That hasn’t changed. I hope you’re still you and that this announcement hasn’t changed US. And if it has, that’s ok too. I’ll answer any questions that I can and try to help set things straight.
All my love to my kidstown kids –