this post is inspired by and dedicated to my tribe. More specifically, some of the chief members of my tribe. My tribe being those women near, far, real,internet who keep me going. They make me laugh or they let me vent or they just know what to say or what to do. And so very many of you are in my tribe – whether you want to be or not. But the ones who inspired this post – they know who they are and they know what they do.
It was just another “vent session” – a time where we can just lay it all out there – frustrations, tears, anger, crabbiness, whatever. No one expects anyone to be Susie Sunshine, we all just get each other. And while it might sound like the most negative situation on earth – it somehow never stays that way. At the end of the day, someone says something that sets us all off into hysterical laughter. And we all realize that no matter what frustrations the day has held, at the end of the day we can still laugh. Because we all survived another day as moms to special kids. We survived the frustrations and the limitations and the brick walls we do our best to knock through every day just to have “normal” lives. our kids are still alive and kickin and while we don’t always get to lay our heads on the pillow at the end of the day, we can take a breather, thank the good Lord for his grace, and catch some shut-eye before it all starts all over again in the morning.
We know that many times, our friendships with our friends “before complex kiddos” suffer. Become strained. Change. And we know that that change is because of us, because WE’VE changed. Lack of sleep and lack of resources and abundance of bureacracy – these things change you. So we seek out others like us. Other broken ones, broken like how we feel sometimes. Like the selves we thought we would be, or envisioned ourselves being, have just become like a shattered mirror, reflecting back to us shards of what we thought we would be, but never a whole image.
These words that follow are not my own, but i wanted to give these feelings, these beautiful broken people i call my friends, a voice. Maybe you identify with the words for your own self, for whatever struggles you face. Maybe you will read them and understand a little bit about where people you may know are coming from, people who deal with medical challenges or any challenges really.
Most days we are trying to fight against a system with so any things stacked against us
and we hang on
Like industrial super glue
And our venting sessions between friends who will steal table settings for you while you make speeches – This is what holds us together.
And those friends who are willing to put up with our bitchiness
and turn terrible moments into hilarious gut busting stories to help you keep your sanity – These are the friends who you will never let go.
They let you be you in all your craziness -good or bad but never hold it against you
And they would go to bat for you and start a food fight or wrestle an Oompa Loompa
Or throw themselves on the invisible flames for you. (Insert your own random crazy nightmare scene here.)
Even through the tears these friends hold a special place in your heart and their kids become part of your little clan
And they always know just what to say, what you need to hear right then. No judgement, no condescension, no brick walls – just friendship, and love. This is what keeps us together, what keeps us moving forward.
This is a glimpse into our world, we moms of a sisterhood no one ever wants to be a part of. But for me, i am blessed. I have so many awesome friends who do not totally get this sisterhood, but try to be the best friends, family members, tribe members they can be.
So really – this post is for all of you – for all of you who don’t quite know what my frantic days and often sleepless nights are like, but you try to get it anyways. For the ones who make me laugh, who know how much a random text every now and then means, for the ones who feed my children, feed my cravings, and feed my soul.
I just wanted to give you all a big hug, and say