That health is slowly returning to my body. this was one of the things i was most fearful of when i knew i would be delivering in november. the start of bronchitis season. how can I push a baby out when i can barely fill my own lungs with oxygen?

but of course, I know that somehow i will. Or that God will see fit to bless me with good health for the weeks before and after delivery.  you just gotta have faith. But anyways – after my crazy nap on Saturday and some, um, let’s call it old fashioned medicine therapy, I am feeling much better. I only hack up a lung when i get laughing too hard. And since i am clearly typing this at a not normal hour for me to be up, i have SOME energy returning also. So i will try to not post any more depressing posts about being sick.

Tonite i just want to express to you how very darling my children are. Kaylen is coming down with a cold or something and wore her little hooded sweatshirt around all day – WITH the hood up. She looked like a little pink snowman or something, it was precious, but she INSISTED that that hood stay up. She is getting so independent! which I guess is kind of a good thing given the massive life change she is about to go through! i feel just the tiniest bit sorry for her, like her babyhood is going to be cut too short. I just know that 30 years from now we will be in therapy for this because I will have overcompensated somehow and will still be treating her like “THE BABY” when she is 18. If it isn’t one thing, it’s another…

Karissa tells me totally deadpan the other day while we were watching TV – “mom, I need that stuff. (A commercial for pro-activ was on). I have SO MUCH dry skin all the time! And you need it too! you have red bumps on your face like dat boy!” Ahhh, out of the mouth of babes. If THAT doesn’t make you feel good about yourself I don’t know what does!!! and her obsession with dry skin is just as random as her obsession with lake drawing. “Is this dry skin? do I have dry skin right here? why is my skin dry?” Ok we do’nt even have the heat on that high! And her skin is NOT DRY! Sometimes i wonder where exactly in the chromosomal mapping my children developed their weirdnesses…was it that extra large coke from mcD’s that did it? the frosty and fries that were my sustenance for weeks on end? too much sakura steak???

Kealey is just becoming this little girl right before my eyes. She’s tall all of a sudden, and so excited to lose her SEVENTH tooth. i get reminded of this fact at least 7 times a day. Clearly the dollar from the tooth fairy is playing into her ultimate plans of getting a horse webkinz before Christmas time. She is going to get that tooth out come hell or high water. EVen if she has to eat ACTUAL vegetables and fruit to do it. (She begged for an apple AND carrots in her lunch today, and ACTUALLY CONSUMED THEM BOTH. I am both shocked and pleased.) I wish I had some more edited pictures to post with this one tonite, but I don’t. I am pictured out!

ALMOST at the end of our busy fall season. One more shoot on Friday morning. Then i can relax and rest! And start taking pictures of my OWN newborn soon hopefully.

oh my gosh that sounds so WEIRD.

i’ll have ANOTHER newborn. I feel like we are just barely out of this stage!

alright. I am going to hit the hay before this nasty sickness comes back to haunt me.

peace and love.

terra

The end.

just kidding. Of course i have to elaborate on my HORRIBLE illness, whine just a little to help myself feel better…

i have no idea what this crap is i am battling but man it feels like death warmed over. at least it is taking my mind off my usual pregnancy aches and pains cause all i can think about is the horrific burning in my chest and the lack of oxygen from being unable to breathe through either my nose or my mouth. I am sure it is dead sexy. have  i mentioned that i feel like crap??? crap on a stick even.

i am not sure why i am whining about this online except that i may someday want a record of this illness, and since my blog archives are my medical journal, my girls’ baby books, and in general my PDA for life, i’ll record it here. And you all get to read it just for grins and giggles.

seriously -  i hope everyone is having a great weekend – much better than mine.

I went to see the movie “W.” last nite with CLC – it was good to have an adult conversation for the first time in a week or so! It was at the very least a thought-provoking movie. I was worried that it would change my unswerving love for the man (please read this with a heavy dose of “terra-ism” inserted), but it was actually presented very well. Not completely without a little bias, but overall I felt that Oliver Stone did as good of a job presenting the “flip side of the coin” story, much as he did with JFK back a few years. I didn’t read any reviews prior to going to the movie, and i am not sure i want to read any now necessarily. I’ll just take the movie at face value for what it provoked ME to think about and go try to dig out my voter registration card.

How is this for a random post?!?!?

Happy saturday – hopefully i am back tomorrow or monday with more of my usual charm and wit!

me

Two posts in 24 hours – google reader must surely be flipping out trying to figure out if its a spam post!

I promised Ben i’d put up some pictures for him from our trip to the pumpkin patch on Sunday. In spite of having to use the self timer on a few photo’s (the fricking remote for my new camera is $200!!!! Highway robbery!!!), I think we got some cute family shots. This place seemed like it would be a lot of fun if you had the time/inclination to go out to the Upick orchards for apples, peaches, anything that’s in season. I may have to take the girls back in the spring!

we ALMOST came home with a new kitty too – but a.) i couldn’t catch the stripey one I really wanted and b.) how ethical is it to steal a barn cat from a farm? I mean, is this the kind of life long lesson I want to teach my children?  (and in my heart of hearts where i love all things kitteny and furry I am screaming YES YES YES!!! Take the kitty and run!!!) I really do wonder how long I could have kept it quiet in my jacket before Ben heard it and turned around or made me throw it out the window on the freeway. Suffice it to say, he is not so much a cat person. But he tries, for me.

anyways – bottom line is – we didn’t bring the new kitty home. yet.

tell me I am not scheming ways to go back to the pumpkin farm and find that danged cat.

I am sitting here right now in the relative silence of my house. I have only one child right now. it’s a surreal feeling. i can hardly remember the time when this WAS my life – with just kealey to entertain and occupy my time. It seems like it flies by so fast… And in just a few short weeks i’ll have FOUR little munchkins running around. I still am not quite sure how THAT happened. Emily asked me yesterday if the timing of all our children was planned. Um. No. I mean, i am sure GOD planned it somehow. But if Ben and i had had to PICK when we were going to have kids? I think we’d still be arguing back and forth over when is a good time to start, and what is the perfect age spacing between children, and are two a good number or should we go for the whole soccer team??? It was an interesting question and one I had to think about – why and how our children have come into our lives at the timing that they did. And looking back, I can see where each one was born at just the right time for HER, according to our lives at the time. Each one brought with them a sense of renewal and hope at a time we needed it so desperately. Perhaps none so much as this little moochie-pootie. hence her name – “hope”.  She truly represented hope to me at a time when I had none. And now i just hope to survive her most days…Ahhhh the love of a mother for her children!

(HOw in heck did i get on this emotional tangent???)

Anyways – I am back to chillin’ with the pumpkin latte in my quiet house, except for some choice itunage pourin’ out tha speakers.

Power to the People.

the terrarist

Still here. SSDD.

Had a crappy day of crampy weird pains and whatnot yesterday. Got talked down by two very wise friends who both rightfully pointed out that yes, i was probably in labor, and that labor could easily last the next 2, 4, or 6 weeks. It’s just that time where your body starts getting ready and gearing up. And i knew that. My only fear is that i was almost that person who delivers their baby in the toilet LAST time, and so now I feel like every time I sneeze  something major could start! (Is this TMI for a public blog???)

Anyways. But today I feel much better. Well, from a pregnancy standpoint. This fricking cold has relocated to my lungs which makes it very hard to breathe and I feel like I am moving through jello. I should probably do a nebulizer treatment but its louder than a 747 taking off in an ice storm and it’s currently located in Kaylen’s room. Who is peacefully sleeping. We’ll see if i feel crappy enough to actually risk waking her up though.

Otherwise – life just keeps on movin’ on.

I dropped a GRIP o dolla at Libby Lu tonite on a forking  HALLOWEEN COSTUME. I never thought I was one of those moms who couldn’t say no to their children. Apparently I am. I just feel like Kealey gets the short end of the stick at times, i mean, i rely SO heavily on her some days to be my helper, and how fair is that? I mean no life isn’t fair and I get that, but if I can make it up to her in some way by letting her be her DREAM outfit hannah montana self for halloween – is that so wrong?

So yeah a few bills later out we walk with my child dressed to the NINES for this little candy grubbing shindig we call halloween. And then number two starts the uber pathetic poor little match girl woe is me I didn’t get anything but that’s ok because I love my big sissy whining (translation: “buy me something too mommy to show me you love me!!!”), so she gets a hannah montana backpack.

That store is evil. I think Satan himself sits as the CEO. it is every little girl’s  DREAM come true to walk into that store. and now I will have FOUR of them to navigate through its pink glittery walls without going broke. But you know, if it makes them stay little girls – who still believe in fairy tales and make believe and dress up – then so be it. I’ll be right there behind them, footin’ the bill every time.

And in one last artistic ode…

I title this one “One of many possible reasons why it may be taking your dryer three or more rounds to get the clothes completely dry”.

A little long, but I think it speaks volumes…

(and just for reference, that’s about a 6 inch roll O lint right there. yes I am quite proud of it thanks for asking.)

More later homies.

enjoy the day. If you want a little piece of warm fuzziness, go try a pumpkin latte from starbucks. they’re my new favorite addiction.

peace.

t-crest.

And yes my spellchecker is freaking out that trepidacious is not a word. Thank you grammar police.

Manic tuesday just didn’t fit though.

We had actually a quiet Monday, Kealey was off of school so we just sort of hung out, played with friends in the backyard, you know. boring stuff. Kaylen had her 15 month check up, looks pretty healthy, get her off the bottle blah blah blah. i am sorry darling doctor who has never actually birthed a child of her own and is fresh out of med school….you may start giving ME bottle advice when YOUR perfect child sleeps through the night on their own without one, drifts off to sleep gently by you just placing them in their crib and slipping out of the room, and is comforted merely by your presence vs a comfort object. THEN i will start taking your advice about how to get my child to sleep. Until then, the bottle works so the bottle stays. And you’re gonna tell me that with a new baby getting those bottles in a month that she’s not going to FLIP OUT for a bottle of her own??? Right.

I’m sorry, you’ll have to go sell crazy somewhere else. We’re totally stocked up here!

Then the girls had a fun time painting pumpkins for our front porch. i was not willing to undertake the ginormously messy task of gutting real pumpkins to carve, so we just got craft pumpkins, some paint, and went at it. They had fun mixing paints to make new colors and trying to come up with new and creative ideas.

For instance, Karissa, laying on the ground to paint the bottom of the pumpkin….???

It was such gorgeous weather for this weekend – I wish we would have had more time to do one last steak grill-out. its going to be a LONG wait till next May for that! But I think we still managed to cram a lot of fun stuff into one weekend…Dentist Appointments, Rock Band tournaments with friends, Gymnastics, a beautiful day for a Riverwalk Photo Shoot, pizza with friends, yardwork, Chuck E Cheese to celebrate a month of good behavior…Yeah we had a good weekend!

of course today is back to being colder – but I guess what can you expect for the middle of October? if we could just manage to hold out till after halloween so we have enjoyable trick or treating weather, that would be awesome!

Oh i never did do a review of the indi-flamers concert did I?

Well, it was truly an awesome concert. It was the fourth one I have been to, and of all of them it was BY FAR the best one yet. Now, they have a relatively static formula for their shows. Its them, a random switching of guitars every song, occasionally a drumset, and in the middle of the show their opening act comes on stage to sing “Closer to Fine” with the whole crowd. There are certain songs that they do EVERY show, and in EVERY show they have the audience sing the SAME parts. Its fun. Its ritualistic. Its cathartic to yell swear words at the top of your lungs in unison with 850 of your closest lez-be-friends. But in every show they let just a little too much of their bitter political agendas creep in. (to my liking anyways, to each their own).

This show, however, was different. it was really just them and their music and their haunting melodious voices. Their set list almost IDENTICALLY matched my itunes playlist of favorite indigo girls songs. They did newer stuff and they did some of their best old stuff. They did Ghost, live. I was in heaven. They have a new album coming out soon! The three songs they played off of it were awesome and i will be highly anticipating the release of the new one. I am so glad that Brenna could go with me – although I am sure we made quite the pair…two very pregnant women at a mostly lesbian attended concert….Hey at least we got pulled out of the mile long bathroom line to go to the VIP bathrooms in the front office of the venue. Whatever it takes right?

It was seriously a fun time – nice to have a little break to recharge my own batteries during these long weeks of ben traveling. We are nearing the finish line though. Then we’ll have a few weeks being a family together – a NEW family together! So surreal to think about…

Anyways – I do have a meeting today I actually have to get dressed for so…i’ll wrap up this scintillating post.

Oh – one more tidbit which will just leave Ben all warm and fuzzy…

Driving downtown to a wedding a few weekends ago…i HAD to get over into the straight lane, but it would mean beating cars off the line (at the stoplight) in order to get over and protect my space.  (I took the defensive driving course through Sears…) so, in my mantra of life “ANTICIPATE THE GREEN”, i gunned it off the line. However, the cabbie next to me ALSO took the same driving course. But my/ben’s car has WAY more horses behind it than his POS crown vic, so we beat him. We pull up at the next stoplight and he signals me to roll down my window and in his thick Arabian accent tosses me the highest of compliments:

“I like de way you drive. Very nice.”

Does it get any better than getting the nod from a real chicago cabbie???

And then I got a parking ticket at the reception venue for having “tinted license plate covers”.  (Apparently this is illegal in the state of IL just FYI.)

Can’t win ‘em all I guess.

did I mention we MAY have actually narrowed down the name for baby Kuatro??? It’s hard to read…

Kendall Rae.

discuss.

terra

I think she’s wrong. This is a test to see who’s correct.

So today’s appointment went AWESOME! (Besides waiting in the room for 45 minutes – God bless specialists at a PPO…)

Dr. Smith was SUCH a great doctor – he listened to all our details, added them all up with the evidence we DO have (from her recent tests and whatnot), and plotted out a great plan of action with and for us.

In a nutshell we are attacking the problem as proactively as we can without jumping right to surgery. She will be adding a LOT of fiber to her diet, wearing a stopwatch to remind her to “go potty” every two hours, and will be on long-term antibiotics to all hopefully combine to KEEP THE BAD BACTERIA AWAY!!! So I get to learn how to bake with lots of wheat germ (does anyone have any wheat germ they can spare?!?!?), keep her on a strict regimen of routine snacks/meals plus potty trips, and all in all – hopefully keep her out of the OR!

she has one more test on Monday the 20th which will not involve any kind of sedation or pain, but will hopefully give us a very clear picture of any anatomical or structural abnormalities that WOULD require immediate intervention. The bad news is, the test we took her for a few weeks ago, where they didn’t end up sedating her, turned into, in his words “just a fun form of torture”. The way they had to complete the test (complete with screaming crying child and me not able to be in the room with her due to radiation+pregnancy = bad combo), ended up telling them next to nothing, except that she has this complete lack of muscle support in the back of her bladder. It doesn’t tell us which came first – the muscle blowout being there from birth, or if it happened AFTER all of these UTI’s. SO, if next Monday’s test indicates that there are structural issues, then we’ll go BACK in and do the sedated test, BUT at that time they would also be able to concurrently fix the issues. So no EXTRA surgeries or sedation. UNLESS (of course there’s always an unless), her bladder “hole” is such that there is no more support for the “fix” to grip onto. There’s just no way of knowing for sure until they get in there with the scope.

I truly feel a peace that i didn’t think I would about this approach. so I know its God’s direction for her. It’s God’s way of not overwhelming me right now with too much information if that’s not what i need to know at this moment in time. Sure, she MAY still need surgery, but it’s not immediate and its not happening before this baby comes and she’s not doing more internal damage with every day that goes by. those were my main fears.

i am not a superfan of the antibiotics on a daily basis either, but I also have to say, if it takes us into bad infection season with a new baby with SOME sense of peace for me that she isn’t going to develop some horrific UTI or ear infection, then so be it and Praise God. We’ll just do lots of Florastor and yogurt!

overall, i know she is in God’s hands. and i think that’s the best kind of peace you can get. knowing who knows the outcome, and knowing that i don’t have to worry about it anymore.  for now at least.

So back to the ol’ grind we go.

midwife appointments for me, MOPS meetings, dental appointments, portrait sessions all weekend, a trip to Chuck E. Cheese for good school behavior, gymnastics lessons, teething toddlers and a special project for my grandma as a favor (because really, who can say no when their grandma asks them to help with a special surprise present?) Ugh. Its all making me very tired. I just need ONE good nite’s sleep, sans Billy Blanks workouts occurring in my womb.

Thanks for all the prayers and happy thoughts from so many of you across the country as we went in today – each and every one of them was felt and so appreciated. Another special thanks to my darling better half – who woke up at the crack of dawn to make a 5.5 hour journey back home to be with us for the appointment before having to leave immediately afterwards to drive three more hours to make it to his next meeting. And in the midst of it all – he stopped at sonic to fulfill the craving of one very pregnant lady for a footlong coney dog and tots. And i’ll be darned if that 3 hour cold chili dog wasn’t THE BEST MEAL i have had in a very long time. Because it was served with love. Thanks benj – you’re my hero! (yes for lots of other reasons than just because you went to sonic for me!)

Stay tuned tomorrow for my review of the Indi-Flamers concert from Sunday nite! It was truly THE BEST Indigo Girls concert I have ever been to. You’ll all be dying to know, I know.

Auf Wiedersehen!

terra

Have you ever eaten too much of a good thing? That seemed like a good idea at the time? I mean, sure, this describes me at just about every meal of any given day…but especially tonite. A good friend made me this awesome casserole last week for dinner, and made enough for a small army, and it tastes REALLY good reheated…

but yeah.

too much velveeta can be a bad thing.

I can’t believe I haven’t posted in a few days. I thought i was going to be better about posting.

Anyways – tonite I am watching last week’s survivor so i can watch this thursday’s sometime this crazy busy weekend. My hips are aching and all of me hurts from carrying this kicking fighting child inside of me. I have no idea who she is fighting – but it seems like she is winning. Maybe I should name her billy blanks. Hey, there’s a K in it! it could work…

Other pregnancy complaints. 

I am at the point where I can hardly bend over to put socks on without passing out from lack of oxygen. I can’t quite get all of the clothes out of the washer cause I can’t bend over far enough with the belly in the way. Kaylen kind of gets dropped the last 5 inches into her crib – again, cause the belly prevents me from bending over her crib far enough. I cannot wrap my mind around this inner struggle of wondering whether life is better now, while I at least have all of the new baby’s needs taken care of quietly within my own body, or if it will be better once she is here and I am able to feel more like myself, do more things, be more self-sufficient. I am not sure either way is BETTER necessarily – but which do I think I will be better equipped to handle? It is honestly feeling a little overwhelming at this point. The holidays will be nice, Ben will be around, it will be a good transition time into life as a family of 6 (HOLY CRAP i just realized that…)

But what about January? When ben is gone all the time again? will i be able to handle it all then?

Tonite my girls were all lined up in the bathtub just staring up at me waiting to be bathed/washed/shampooed and i was like – “oh my gosh, are you guys all mine??? When did this happen? When did I get my very own doll store???” Sure enough, Kealey assured me that indeed I WAS all of their mommy and that I needed to help them wash their hair. And now i am adding one more to that mix!

Its a crazy life for sure. 

Tomorrow is Karissa’s specialist appointment where we find out if she will need surgery to correct her bladder diverticulum. I just pray that we feel a true peace about whatever is decided, and that the decision is the best possible one for her for the rest of her life. I have talked to people who had similar issues to Karissa’s, and the reproductive ramifications, let alone the pain of the UTI’s continuing are just enough to make me know we HAVE to make a good decision for her now. So please pray that Dr. Smith has a clear view of Karissa’s history, is able to make a good case history, and then make a decision that will be what she needs.

Ok. Its time to hit the hay for now. I can’t even think any more.

t

former high school rockers – the ones with big dreams to be the next Bon Jovi and make it out of Bolingbrook, out of the Midwest and onto FAME and FORTUNE as a REAL ROCK STAR?!?!?!?!

I’ll tell you.

They end up playing muzak guitar specials to the lunchtime crowd in a “specialty sandwich shop” near the “new mall” on the East Side of town. (I don’t want to show up on a google search for this one.)

anyhow – I am at lunch with a friend today, and there is a nice gentleman dressed in business attire (maybe this was just part of his stage presence, or maybe he really left work on his lunch hour to recapture his dreams, i am not sure) playing guitar songs in the corner. now this made for some nice ambience, i am not gonna lie.

but you’d be sort of humming along with the tune and go – is he really playing “Good Riddance”??? And then the next song would be an ode to Jimmy Buffett or perhaps Fleetwood Mac. Then back to some Sheryl Crowe. It was hard to keep up with what genre we were in. But it was seriously like elevator guitar music.

anyways. I am glad for him that he has found a way to hold on to his dreams. i hope he does make it out of bolingbrook.

Other random thoughts for the day.

an interesting post i found on craigslist last nite:

Sleep soundly with the SONY Dream Machine hidden camera. A fully functional FM/AM radio alarm clock with large green LED display. Includes a single alarm, easy-to-see alarm indicator, sleep button and alarm volume control. Full power back-up in case of electricity loss. Normally retails for $291.00
Specifications:
Image Sensor: 1/3″ Sony CCD (B/W)
Resolution: 400 Lines(B/W)
Min. Illumination: .05 Lux (B/W)
Lens: 3.7mm Wide Angle
Power Required: 12 V DC/110V AC
Free Shipping via UPS Ground. Item will ship within one business day of payment. Major credit cards and Paypal accepted. For more information go to XXXXX Call               xxx        or email xxxxxxx if you have any questions.

Um yes mr. crazy craigslist poster, actually i DO have a question.

and maybe I’m just an idiot here – but WHY would i need a HIDDEN CAMERA in my alarm clock?!?!?!

I am thinking the answer to this question goes back to the basic mentality of your average craigslist user – but I just cannot imagine the function such a camera would serve. And at 400 lines of resolution – I mean, you’re gettin’ some PRET-ty high images there. in b/w no less. I cannot imagine the floodlights one would have to have on in their room in order to capture any sort of usable image from the resolution of this “secret spy camera”. Do people think they can actually catch their spouses having affairs or something? Are these becoming a popular trend in hotels all of a sudden? WHY do these questions grip me so?!?!?!

anyways – just in case you’re looking for early christmas presents – there you have it.

what else…

oh there was another funny post involving glossy photos taken on a neon canvas backdrop (for my Tacoma readers, think B&I Photo’s), and then made into a “water and alcohol proof ceramic tile sure to be treasured for years to come in your china cabinet”. You also got to pick your choice of Barbie stickers and die cuts to decorate these keepsakes with. but I am afraid that if I posted about it i would probably be struck with lightning and Lord knows I risk that enough in any given day to not bring it upon myself more often than necessary. If you’re bored and cruising craigslist though, look in the photo+video forum back a few days. you’ll find it. you’ll see what I mean. And when you pick yourself back up off the floor from laughter – thank me. We all need to laugh that hard at least once a day.

Oh and on a last note – I think my cat may have Asperger’s. He craves social attention and yet has no wherewithal to be able to handle it. I am not sure if there is therapy for this sort of thing in animals. But now that i have figured it out, I can learn how to love him better.

I need some more cinnamon rolls that I woke up early to slave over this morning.

I have ever so much more to say. But maybe i’ll save some for later while i am watching SURVIVORRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! God bless prime time thursday nite tv.

terra

Definitely feeling back in the land of the living again. It is a very odd physical sensation though to be actually REALIZING that I am doing too much for my body’s current state. It sucks getting old I tell ya. But, you do what you have to I guess.

Today I went to work in Kealey’s classroom. God bless that poor teacher. She has military-like demands on the kids. I mean they stand IN LINE facing forward waiting for the entire class to get done with the bathroom. Then they take two steps over so they are directly in front of the doorway then forward march! She rocks. I cannot even imagine dealing with 30 kids on a daily basis like that, ranging from the completely illiterate to the almost self-sufficient, as most first grade classes do I am sure. It was good to be a part of the class and to see where Kealey is at, but that hour on my feet dealing with questions – WOO! enough to wear me out!

So here’s what else is on my scatterbrained mind tonite.

 WHY are there fireworks going off on a random wednesday nite? Is this some new october 1st tradition I am missing the boat on? Its irksome. Whoever it is needs to lay off already.

I need to come up with “Plan B for Baby Cuatro’s arrival”. Plan A involves me getting to the hospital in a state of calm handleable pain with my bags neatly packed, husband at side, children all blissfully sent off in a loving manner with grandparents who have managed to have enough time and openings in their busy schedules to be here. This of course assumes that baby will come on a perfectly clear warm sunny day in November that Ben happens to be home. Baby is born an hour after arriving at the hospital and I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight within 8 hours. I love Plan A.

It is highly unlikely to happen. So I need to work on Plan B. Actually probably plans B-N. Just because. This is ME we’re talking about here. 

And i cannot thank all of you enough who have volunteered or COMMANDED to be put on the Plan B-N list. You have no idea how much I appreciate knowing that there is SOMETHING I can do if, God forbid, this baby decides to come in the middle of a snowy nite and I am on the bathroom floor surrounded by emergency personnel from the fire station down the street tying off the baby’s umbilical cord with a shoestring. (Do not ask me why this is the recurrent theme to my nightmares). I am not even sure we have an extra shoestring laying around. I would have to crawl into the closet and yank one out of ben’s shoes. Maybe I should go shoestring shopping….

Anyhoo, I digress.

(Is it possible to digress from random thoughts???)

What else…

oh i don’t know. i feel too ADD tonite to be coherent. I can’t post pictures from this writer anyways. So…

i’ll be back later when i have something important to say.