Newfangled Technology

Originally uploaded by terra.atkinson@sbcglobal.net

Trying to see if this will actually work to blog through flickr. I get so

frustrated by trying to post photos. Isn’t the main point of hosting my own

blog to be able to have more control over this kind of thing? One would

think.

I cannot stop eating pickles. Ben is so helpful. He says”well duh, it means

you’re pregnant”. Thanks, Captain Obvious. I must have missed that part of

why my belly bumps into EVERYTHING and I can’t walk normal! Really though, I

don’t get the whole pickle connection. Is it the salt? The sourness? Who

knows. I can only hope they aren’t like full of a jillion calories at this

point! I am so nervous about the weight coming off after this pregnancy.

Granted, I lost all my karissa weight within about three or four weeks, but

then started having my bad healthproblems, and never really bounced back

after that. And of course, I am still working on the 70+ lbs from Kealey

too..

But yeah. I think the key is going to be getting active again. Other than

maybe a few too many fast food trips and my Coke addiction, its not like we

eat that unhealthily. Its just a few key changes to eating, but really

focusing on exercise.

Oh yeah this is just a test post. Lemme see if I can insert pics and see

what happens.

IMG_1588.JPG

Here is the bump last week, about 37 weeks. On my anniversary, my tenth

wedding anniversary. Which I spent with my mom and kids getting ready for

the garage sale. Oh so romantic! Bleh on the arms and thunder thighs..those

MUST go ASAP. I need a new weavecut too. It is all one length now and just

BLAH!

Ok – lets see if this puppy works!

Ciao bellas-

me

Heather Ann Melzer: Photo crazed

 This is my friend Heather’s blog – she inspires me to want to a.) get this kid out already! and b.) take better pictures! She was the editor of a Scrapbooks Etc Photography book, and I get so many good tips from that – but seeing her actual pics in action is just that much more inspirational! So come on Kaylen- you better get here quick so I can stop trying to tuck your sisters into cabinets and bookshelves!!!!

Today I have to work at the Joliet Preg. Resource Center, getting ready to move into our new location. Everyone freaks out when I tell them that – but honestly – I am just going to be tucked into a chair packing files from a cabinet into a box – I am not doing heavy moving. I learned my lesson last week after all that garage sale work. Felt like a POS for about three straight days after all that packing and moving and lugging of heavy boxes, plus the fall down the stairs at o dark thirty in the morning…

anyways – trying to take it easier this week – and finding that that means a LOT of the housework isn’t getting done! I do not remember feeling this completely in pain and incompetent near the end of karissa’s pregnancy. We had JUST moved into this house, so I know i had a TON of unpacking and moving in to do, and somehow I got it all done! I just have no idea how Kaylen is laying in there but it has to be directly on a nerve. On a pain scale of 1-10, with say an 11 being the pain of labor…I walk around at about a 6 or 7 every day just from walking. I am not sure if this is going to make labor worse or better for all the pain I am already in. And today I woke up feeling like i needed a midol – just HORRIBLE PMS lately! Grouchy, crampy, achy, and wanting to eat enough carbs to fuel a small army. If only I felt like that actually MEANT something in the greater scheme of giving birth soon! But i know it could go on like this for another two weeks easily! I am hoping we don’t go much past next week – having ben home all week will be nice. well not home, but working in the chicago area versus all the traveling he has had to be gone the last three weeks. Just being a single parent for even three days wears me out – i do not know how some people do it!

I finally got my bag of stuff at least laid out (not actually packed yet) – and of course the most important thing to not forget is my laptop – so obviously i can’t pack that till the last minute! And then i am thinking just bring all three cameras, the DSLR, the P&S, and the video… can’t have TOO many memories saved!!!

speaking of saved memories – i have to upload a few new pics of Kealey losing her second tooth, and karissa with her latest shiner. Second verse same as the first. I swear my children are the epitome of “accidents waiting to happen”!!

Ok i can’t sit here for any longer – too painful to be in one position for too long! Plus, hey, why not have another bagel while I’m at it??

And feeling every minute of it!

Oh the pain! Just walking hurts. So much pressure. And then when the contractions start getting real insistent – yeah, its hard to walk while your whole mid-section is in one long cramp. Ok i should stop complaining. Today is actually a pretty good day feelingwise, woke up with some gay contractions, but was able to get some “oh yeah the baby’s coming I should get some things for her” shopping done! If only I had a good way of doing screenshots…

Ok this might work!! So those are some bodysuits I got, and these gowns – which are LIFESAVERS the first few weeks when you get those nasty blowouts every hour or so…So easy to just flip up, change, and back to bed with them!

It was fun to actually start getting some new girly stuff for baby Kaylen. Hmmmm what else did we get – a pack of diapers and wipes (can you believe I had NONE in this house??? i mean my GOSH what would I have done if she was born early? Steal double my allotment from the hospital??? which i will still prolly do cause I roll like that but….wow. Procrastination is definitely my middle name!) We took a gamble on some paci’s. My kids are SO hit or miss with whether they’ll even take one or not, and then the kind/brand/shape???Fuggedaboudit. So – i got some that look cute. Cause what else is there in life with a newborn than just to look cute?

Then it was on to Walmart – since i just couldn’t bring myself to drop $200 on the ladybug bedding i have been debating for the last two months….so I got these blankets cause they only had the full set in blue. But these match the full set, which I will be getting as soon as I find it in stock somewhere! and here is what the whole set looks like  It looks almost black in this pic, but in real life, its actually more brown. The blankets are more muted than they appear in this pic too. The pink isn’t QUITE that obnoxious. I think we will paint the room a khaki color, with big pink circles on one wall. It feels better to just have that SET! I feel like so much about this poor baby is just an afterthought – just cause – my two girls take up EVERY waking second of my day – espcially being a single parent all week due to Ben’s new job! But she isn’t an afterthought. I cannot WAIT to meet this little girl who loves to kick and flip and swim!

So – we have a midwife appointment this afternoon where I think I might ask to be checked to see if I am making progress. They offered to last time but i just wasn’t in a hooha feel up mood. Not that I am today – but today I kind of want to know. Next week is the only week Ben is home – so i am KIND OF hoping kaylen can get with the overall Atkinson family program and come on OUR schedule!!! I have a good couple hours of contractions just about every day, obviously they are prodromal or else I would have been in the hospital a few weeks ago! So they do nothing more than wear me out and make me sore, but every once in a while i’ll have a couple hours of some doozies. I would be surprised if they aren’t doing ANYTHING, but I also won’t be in mass depression if there is no change. so i dunno. I guess we will just see how the appt goes!

It could not be any hotter outside. Which is contributing to the overall feelings of misery I am having today. Its about 95, but the mugginess is making it feel seriously well into the 100’s. It looks like a good storm is brewin up now though so hopefully that will cool things off.

We also got Karissa her new big girl car seat, which Kealey is EXTREMELY jealous over, cause its “cuter” than hers. (Apparently I hit the whole cute thing a little too hard with her in her younger years…) Here’s Karissa’s – its called the Tara Fashion – i mean, really, could there be a perfecter name???? If only they had spelled it right!

ok tha’ts not the EXACT one – but you get the point. It has cutesy colors. Flowers and whatnot. here is kealey’s -Â Ok sorry – that came out big. So – hence the issues. Kealey’s is plain. and old. and brown.

 sometimes girls are more trouble than they’re worth!!! the DRAMA of it all! But really – I was very proud of Kealey today. she had her five year old/ School wellness checkup. She had to get two shots and her finger pricked for cholesterol and iron – which are at fine levels. I didn’t realize we needed to worry about a five year olds cholesterol level? but apparently we do. And hers was fine. She didn’t cry and in fact I even had her laughing through one of the shots. Which is a HUGE change from the meltdown scene I anticipated the event to be as it normally is with her!

So – we are getting ready to go to the midwife appointment, then we’ll go to sisters house for an hour or two and maybe some good Jimmy John’s sandwiches…then home for bedtime! i am worn out! I have a lot of work I need to catch up on for the PRC (Pregnancy Resource Center) where I work part time, but I guess I will just have to make it up tomorrow – or maybe I’ll get a second wind of energy tonite!

If you made it through this post – congrats!

my hammer’s just so hyped.

I’m dope on the floor and i’m magic on the mic.

I have no idea why – but this song has been stuck in my head for the last like three days and its completely annoying.

So – you may wanna run to the bathroom, refill the coffee, do whatever you need to do cause this is going to be a long rambly post with little to no point, but probably a good amount of whining/complaining and reflecting on my part…which makes for a very verbose terra.

So – Father’s Day. What did you all do? We went to church, after i woke up to my WONDERFUL husband moving all the garage sale stuff up from the basement for me so that my mother and I would not be figuring out how the two of us would get these couches up the stairs on a hot thursday nite by ourselves…Church was good. I am truly in love with our church. It is so great to be in a place where you are challenged to grow on a spiritual level in a way that you aren’t having to totally STRIVE to apply to your life. The people there are just REAL. The pastor is REAL. The worship is REAL. And I love it all. I cannot wait to get more involved there and really dig deeper into my spiritual journey there. What am I doing to give back, that sort of thing. Anyways – after church Ben surprised all of us by taking us out to a nice meal at Red Robin. It was neat. With as tight as money has been lately, we haven’t been able to just eat out on a whim like we used to. Which is probably good health wise, but it puts a lot more pressure on me to be making a good meal every nite, which is not so fun and easy when you’re “out to here” pregnant and its 90-plus degrees every day and you have two picky kids who complain about every meal you make. All that whining to say – a good greasy mushroom burger from Red Robin was a great and very appreciated treat yesterday! Phew! When we got home, Ben started packing for this weeks trip to PGH (fedex headquarters) for training for his new job – the girls swam while I sat outside melting with them, spraying the dogs with my water cooler/mister thing. When it was time for him to leave for the airport, they came in and took a nap, which was just a nice break. I wish I could say i was able to scrap during that time, but I feel so distracted I can’t sit and concentrate on being creative. I think I am nesting. Anyways – I did get one of the three kitchen junk drawers cleaned out, which was a good accomplishment, and hope to get to my three remaining “junk spots” in the house this week. I cried when Ben left. I know that compared to so many wives, especially some of my friends who are military wives, that we really don’t have it that bad. But i just = we got to see him for a little less than 48 hours this weekend. I just do’nt feel strong enough this week. I am so worn down with pain and tiredness, I feel like I am always saying no to the girls (“no we can’t go to the park, no i don’t have money for the ice cream man, no you can’t go swimming at 7 am when you wake up….”). I just feel like, in general, a failure in most every part of life. I can’t explain why. Maybe just a touch of antepartum depression? But that’s not even it either. I do’nt know. i am sure it is hormonal in one way or another. But I just – i really really am going to miss him this week. Its like – I know I have to be strong for these 6 days. I know I can’t go into labor, cause he’s not here. I have to hold it together for a set amount of time and I just felt already depleted yesterday. Plus I am realizing how much I really do need him and rely on him for my strength each day. He is my rock, my best friend. And i don’t say that lightly. It has been a TOUGH year of learning and growing for both of us, but the results and fruits of that are really starting to show, and I just want more.

So after he left, we went grocery shopping. It was 95 degrees at 7 o clock pm last nite on our way to the store. Now for some of you in southern regions – that may be like – yeah, duh. But here, in the good ol’ chicagoland area – that is UNHEARD of – its still SPRING technically!!! We haven’t had a rainstorm in over a week – the pressure building is just craziness – my sinuses i thought were going to explode out of my head yesterday! They say tonite we’re supposed to get some good storms though – I certainly hope so. I am no lawn maintenance person like my husband. I have no idea how to set up the sprinklers with the right angles and water pressure to get the most out of our ever-growing water bill. I can remember to water my few porch plants and that’s about it!

So today we are going to go up to my parent’s house – just to break up the monotony of our weeks alone, a change of pace. We have to bring the puppies with us – which should be a fun adventure! They were wicked little monkeys last nite and would NOT come back inside at 11 when i tried to get them in to go to their crates for the nite!!! The picture of 9 month prego me trying to catch these slippery little puppies was, i am sure, quite hilarious – good thing it was dark. I just hope no one was in their backyards enjoying a nice bud lite, watching the show though!

I can’t remember right now what all else I had to complain about – so – i’ll stop here.

Let’s see if we can get a few photo’s to insert themselves here…just snapshots of our weekend.

ok nevermind -i forgot to convert these latest ones to websized! Will be back more with more pics though!

have a happy monday!

and remembber – you can’t touch this….

Ok there’s two reasons why this title applies. one because my brother and sister-in-law made a HILARIOUS video to this song that still makes me laugh out loud when i think about it. I HAVE to find the youtube link and share it here cause seriously – if you do’nt laugh or at least snicker at this video you should check for your own pulse…

 and two because I feel like i am going to be pregnant at least until the next century. I know I have 5 more weeks left – but that sounds like saying 5 more months. I am just ready to have my body back – to not be in so much pain anymore, to not be so swollen, to not have cankles, to be able to go longer than one hour in between potty breaks….*sigh* – its the little things in life right???

And yet – I know I will need every spare minute of these five weeks. I have so much to do to get ready. So much to be thankful for, so much to not take for granted about this life growing inside me. so this last five weeks is dedicated to all my friends who are currently not pregnant, but wish they were. I will finish this race for them.

And know that it will all be worth it in the end – oh so worth it!

Newsworthy News for today: Had a phone interview with a SEct. 42 development company that I thought went pretty well and am extremely excited about. Have a conference call phone interview early next week and then hopefully a plan of action soon thereafter!

the Pregnancy Resource Center job is going well also. I enjoy the challenge of being the new set of eyes in both centers, and trying to be the bridge to the gap that they are dealing with.

And finally = STILL waiting on word from my old job as to when/what they are going to pay me for the contract currently in place. I pray it is soon that I hear something. It is a lesson in learning to let God show me how much in control He is. it is very hard to sit back and bite my tongue when i feel like i am really just being taken horrible advantage of. But i need to learn this patience. I need to learn to sit back and enjoy life and take it one day at a time and spend more time tickling my girls and watching them swim in their pool, and less time trying to prove to some nameless “they” that i am capable of being both a mom and a career woman.

I want so much all at once. and i need to learn to sit back and be CONTENT with all that i do have.

I am tired so i am rambling. I will write more later. i feel somedays like i have so much to say – and no idea how to say it. And other days i am just out of words.